WWE Monday Night Raw Recap: The GM Blows Our Cyber Monday Night Raw

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Raw opens with announcements from the new "Anonymous Raw General Manager." I would've loved to see John Cena toss that laptop across the ring but like a gentleman, he closes it softly and cuts him promo. The night takes a turn for the worst as Rollins and what's left of The Authority, send Cena through a table....but not before the rest of Team Cena gets their asses handed to them. The GM reveals that the shot at the Heavyweight Title is on the line at TLC in two weeks. If Cena's not careful, we could have a Rollins vs Brock match in a few months. 

Tag-team Turmoil looked more like a walk in the park for The Usos. After The New Day eliminated The Dust Brothers and Tyson Kidd pinned Kofi, The Usos attack Cesaro and don't even break a sweat taking out Adam Rose. The Usos have nothing to worry about in the ring. Their real problem is The Miz. Jimmy goes nuts after The Miz gets a little flirty complementing Noami's twerking in her new music video, "Dance All Night." He comes out and knocks The Miz right off his feet. I can't wait to see these two in the ring at the PPV. 

Vince was in the building to remind us about his Stone Cold interview on the WWE Network. They try to convince us Big Show is a bully. Fandango vs Swagger turns into Swagger vs Rusev. Ambrose kills Bray Wyatt's rocking chair. Paul Heyman compares Brock Lesnar to Christmas and the 6 man main event let Team Babyface get even for the beat down in the beginning of the show. 

If you weren't paying attention, you would have missed my favorite part of Raw. Saint Mick debuts with Noelle Foley. I try really hard to not to be a pervert so I won't throw in a Mr. Socko joke but Mankind's daughter is smoking hot! Follow her on twitter @NoelleFoley.

Next week Seth Green hosts the Slammys in Greenville, South Carolina. If you have the WWE app, don't forget to vote! 

-Loveblump

Vince is here! Monday Night Raw Recap

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New stakes for Survivor Series! If Team Authority loses to Team Cena, they lose their power. Much remains unsettled as Vince McMahon makes a rare TV appearance Monday night in Buffalo. What does this mean exactly? Will Stephanie and Hunter lose their jobs completely? Will whoever takes over be pro Cena? Is Vince a temporary fix to a much bigger problem? 

The Authority has taken over in a great way. I almost forget that anything else is going on in the show. I like that Ziggler is getting lots of attention even if he has to lose to Rollins. Creepy Bray Wyatt watches Ambrose from the stage. "Feed Me More" chants fill the arena for Ryback. Jimmy Uso doesn't stand a chance against The Miz. Nikki and Brie are such disappointments. I wish they would get a little more creative with this story line. 

The Condemned 2 has The Viper taking a break from the ring as he waits to be "medically cleared." A curb-stomp from Rollins leaves Orton with a bloody forehead and an exit via stretcher. It's very possible that he may even miss Survivor Series. Monday was Orton's last scheduled day as he is not booked for the European tour.  

-Loveblump

WWE Monday Night Raw Recap; Monday September 29th, 2014

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Monday night Raw was live from Chicago. Home of my favorite wrestlers, CM PUNK and Colt Cabana. As much as I loved the PUNK chants, seeing the people from OneHourTees with the giant Colt Cabana head ringside made my night. It was almost as good as the real thing. 

There's not much I can complain about this week. It was a solid show full of some of the best one liners I've ever heard on Raw. "You wouldn't understand cause you're ugly!" from the The Miz has to be my favorite. The Big Show screaming at Rusev, "WE DON'TSPEAK RUSSIAN!" and Goldust with "Science-fact" are a close second. 

Hulk Hogan made a special appearance for breast cancer awareness. I'm glad they're putting him on TV. He deserves to make back some of the money he lost to his cunt of an ex-wife. Bring him on every week! Better yet, throw out JBL and make Hogan a permanent commentator, Brother. 

Why is everyone complaining about Orton vs Cena? First off, its Cena and Ambrose vs Orton and Rollings. Secondly, this is fucking amazing! Never in a million years would I have thought I'd see Cena get curb stomped! They're really beating the shit of this guy. Brock had his chance now it's time for The Authority to finish him. Highly unlikely but it's worth a shot. 

-Loveblump

Twitter: @LoveBlump