Monday Night Raw Recap; Plus Curb Stomp Banned? Extreme Rules will SUCK!

Extreme Rules is happening this weekend from Chicago! After 2 weeks of terrible Raws, WWE will turn over an even worse PPV. Randy Orton promised to RKO the entire roster including "the undistruped future" since his finisher is banned on Sunday. Also, Ryback attacked a giant hot dog. That's all that happened this week. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Raw was a total disappointment and to top it off Daniel Bryan is still out. "Bryan is undergoing diagnostic testing to see if he can defend his title at Extreme Rules." I wish he would stop pretending to be a 60 year old yoga instructor and remember that hes a professional wrestler. Herbs and magic will not cure your injuries. I hope this isn't a repeat if last year. 

Rumors of The Curb Stomp being banned surfaced when Rollins used a new finisher on Ziggler Monday Night. Why is there a russian chain match when WWE doesnt allow choking? Is Rusev gunna go all 50 shades and whip Cena?! The WWE has not addressed the issue and no one knows for sure if stomping a man's face into the mat is actually banned completely. I say we keep the Curb Stomp and have Orton bring back the Punt. 

-Loveblump

Mrs. CM Punk Retirement and Raw Recap

After months of rumors, WWE has announced AJ Lee's retirement from in ring competition just five days after Wrestlemania. We can only speculate the million reasons why she would want to leave. My money is on a baby. You can't be taking hits with a bun in the oven. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Leaving on top is the best way to make return in ten years when she gets tired of those little brats. AJ did great things for the Diva's division and I am sad to see her go. Here's to hoping there's another Diva out there that can fill her boots. 

On Raw this week Orton defeats Kane, Roman Reigns, AND Ryback to become the Number 1 contender for the Heavy Weight Championship. Rollins comes in and delivers a Curb Stomp laying Orton out after his win. Doesn't he remember getting his ass kicked just two weeks ago. They never learn. That Curb Stomp will come back to bite him in the ass.

The Authority's feud with Randy Orton will get old fast and The Viper will be off working on another movie in no time. I wouldn't mind watching a little more Rollins vs Neville. The inaugural NXT Champion agaisnt the longest reigning Champion. Bring up Zayns and Owens and we can have a party! 

-Loveblump

Lesnar Destroys Ringside Staff, Sting Talks Mania, and NXT Stars Debut

Stephanie can sleep a little better at night knowing Brock won't be taking out her roster/crew anytime soon. Brock Lesnar is suspended indefinitely for going ape shit and attacking everyone he could get his hands on. After Rollins backs out of their rematch and barely escapes the ring, Brock takes out J&J Security and Michael Cole with an F5. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Stephanie runs to the ring to save an innocent camera man but she's too late. F5's for everyone! Meanwhile, JBL and Booker lay lifeless under a demolished announcers table. This is what wrestling should look like. 

I'm glad WWE has finally come up with a good enough storyline to explain why Brock is never around. Steph does a great job treating him like a bad puppy that won't stop pissing on the carpet. There's no doubt about Brock being a great competitor but you can tell he doesn't want any part of this. Send him back to UFC. I've called this for months. Rollins needed a devious plan to snatch the belt off The Beast and Mania was the perfect place to do it.

As for the rest of Raw, it was an OK show. Not a word about Undertaker but Sting gets to come out and talk about losing. The Diva's are finally getting some time in the ring. Neville and Kalisto debut. Shemus returns with a fucked up mohawk. And we get a chance to watch the same matches we will see repeated for the rest of the month.

-Loveblump

Seth Rollins Leaves Wrestlemania a Champion While Ronda Rousey Takes Down The Authority

Like many people, I was shocked at how good Wrestlemania 31 was. 76,976 people filling up Levi's Stadium took fifth for the all time record for Mania attendees. So much awesome-ness in one show I don't know where to start so here's a re-cap of the night. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Pre-show

Andre the Giant Battle Royal: Big Show

Fatal 4 way Tag Match: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro

Main Card

Intercontinental Championship: Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton defeats Seth Rollins

No Disqualification: Triple H

AJ Lee and Paige defeat The Bella Twins

United States Championship: Cena

Undertaker defeats Bray Wyatt

Main Event

World Heavy-weight Championship: Seth Rollins

You read that right, the guy with his dick on the internet is the WWE Heavy-weight Champion. He may not have pinned Brock but he gave Reigns the Curb Stomp of his life for the win. Speaking of Curb Stomps, the match between Rollins and Orton was my favorite of the night, after Taker, of course. Randy Orton pops out of a Curb Stomp throwing Rollins in the air with just his head. I could watch it over and over. The old men get a little help from their friends when The nWo and DX make their way to the ring half way through the match. Definitely something to check out if you didn't catch the PPV. Might as well skip the Cena match. It was long and boring and pissed me off from the beginning. Why did Rusev come out in a tank? 

I had a good time watching Wrestlemania this year. WWE really stepped up their game. Giving us something to look forward to The Rock has teamed up with Ronda Rousey to take on The Authority. After Stephanie insults Rock with a slap in the face, he searches the crowd for a familiar face. I don't watch UFC but I recognized the name. Ronda was ready to go right then and there taking out Hunter with a judo throw. She looks like she will own the WWE ring for sure. 

Nothing made me happier than watching The Deadman kick ass. He looked great out there, off the top rope, out of the ring, in the ring. It was magic. Wyatt should have known better than to try to raise hell. Hell will destroy you. 

-Loveblump

Raw Recap, and a Look at Wrestlemania; The Most Wonderful Time of Year!

Besides being the #1 pay-per-view, Wrestlemania is my favorite PPV for many reasons. First off, it's usually on, or very close, to my birthday! Second, it's the only time of year we get to talk about The Undertaker. Hall of Fame, celebrity guests, and for one weekend out of the year I can showcase how sincerely crazy I am about wrestling to the general public. How could you not love Wrestlemania? It is "The Grandest Stage of Them All." 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Wrestling aside, I think WWE is trying to tell us something about weed. Brainwashing the children into thinking smoking bud is one thing. For the second week in a row, one of the biggest celebrity stoners graced our television screens. I feel like there's more behind this than coincidence. Is Vince telling us to support the legalization of weed? I sure hope so. 

My favorite part of Monday night was Stephanie and Sting. He brings something back from the good days of wrestling. Makes you wanna sit and watch the whole show. Stephanie's so good! Slapping Sting and creeping up with the sledge hammer for her man. Trips walking out to Terminator music. Definitely a great way to open the show. I am truly excited for his first match ever in a WWE ring. HISTORY IN THE MAKING! I can not wait for Sunday!

-Loveblump

Jon Stewart Nails Rollins in the Nuts and #GiveDivasAChance

The Daily Show host and native New Jerseyan, Jon Stewart, brought life to a very dull episode of Monday Night Raw. Rollins and Reigns opened and closed the show with the main event feud that may eventually lead to the predictable MITB match following Reigns win at Wrestlemania. Seth Rollins proved he has mastered his role as a heel. Stewart ran for his life after delivering a low blow to Mr. Money in the Bank. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

AJ Lee has finally returned. Last week, Patricia Arquette pleads for women's rights at the Oscars and writers give the Diva's a 30-second match. This leads to a #GiveDivasAChance hashtag and AJ Lee voicing her very loud opinion. "Your female wrestlers have record selling merchandise & have starred in the highest rated segment of the show several times, And yet they receive a fration of the wages and screen time of the majority of the male roster. #UseYourVoice." Steph soon replied, "Thank you @WWEAJLee, I appreciate your opinion." The WWE has a long history of treating the Divas as eye candy so it's about time some of these girls stood up for themselves. 

-Loveblump

Happy Birthday WWE Network! Fast Lane, Raw, and Chyna "Twerkin'"

This week marks the first birthday of the WWE network and the true start of the road to Wrestlemania 31. Raw opens with Randy Orton on the mic trying to explain how The Authority kept him out of action for the last four months. He should of explained why he was hanging out backstage Sunday night in his gear. While Fast Lane may not have delivered, Raw, and the announcement of free streaming of the network for 24 hours, definitely made up for it. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

After a little bit of sweet talk from Boss Lady, Orton returns to The Authority for the main event tag match. It appears that Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns became BFFs after Fast Lane and it definitely showed in the ring Monday night. Orton and Rollins storm off with their tails between their legs. That match was the highlight of my night.

Last week TMZ reported on the terrible twerking video Chyna posted to her social media sites. From what I understand, Chyna admits to falling off the sober wagon tweeting from @ChynaJoanLaurer on February 24th. "Hi everyone. I have been kept denying the fact that I have been an alcohhol...This has been very hard... I am."  This seems to be a contributing factor to all the non-sense going on at her YouTube, Toyko Chyna. If you haven't heard, Chyna has been working in the adult entertainment industry since leaving WWE in 2001. Posing nude for Playboy, starring in 6 adult films, collecting 2 AVN awards, and working for the LA Porn Star Escort Service has been her claim to fame for the last 10 years. She has since retired and resides in Japan teaching private English classes. 

In all honesty, Chyna Doll looks like any other silly drunk girl dancing around her room in her underwear. She's just trying to live her life. Maybe she wasn't even drinking and that's just her charismatic personality. I do believe she's trying her hardest to live a normal life free of addiction. I think if these last few articles have taught me anything, it's that professional wrestlers are normal people that like to get fucked up and take pictures of their dicks. 

-Loveblump

Rollins' Penis Steals the Show! Pic *NSFW* Inside!

It's O.K. Seth, we know the road gets lonely, but next time maybe you should leave your face out of the shot. A nude photo of NXT Diva Zahra was posted to Seth Rollins' Instagram account shortly before his ex-fiancé tweeted a few of his infamous man meat. With tweets like "Zaharah?" and "I definitely did HAHAHAHA" we can assume all posts were made by @Leighlaschultz, herself. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. 

Meanwhile back on Raw, Roman Reigns turns after a confrontation with Bryan during their tag team match. A little push and shove now Reigns is a heel? Barely, but thats what they want us to think. As cheesy as that Sting promo was I liked it a lot. It was like a bad horror movie, creepy and weird. I loved the fake Sting in the ring popping up to scare Triple H. In my opinion he could't have sold it any better. 

Image Credit: SportsKeeda.com

Lots of filler leading up to Fast Lane, but what did you expect. If Bray Wyatt's tease doesn't pan out to an Undertaker match at Mania I will seriously loose my mind. The only other options they have is to keep Sting going and have an old man match between the two. Not much of anything else happened besides the same matches we've been watching for the last 2 weeks. 

-Loveblump 

Raw is Jericho, SuperSmackDown, Tribute to the Troops and more

Image Credit: wwe.com

What a start to WWE week! Following TLC, Monday Night Raw opened to this week's GM, Y2J, announcing the night's 2 HUGE main events. A fan picked street fight with none other than Jericho, himself, and big mouthed Paul Heyman. Followed by rematch of Cena vs Rollins in a steel cage. The street fight couldn't even start before Brock Lesnar laid Jericho out with an F-5. No one expected any physical activity from Heyman. He may have put on some ring gear but that wasn't fooling anyone. I guess Brock feels the need to make up for lost time because he comes out during the steel cage match to remind Cena what he's in for at the Royal Rumble. Rollins hit Cena with a Curb Stomp and exits the cage.

USA Network switched up our regular schedules with a SuperSmackDown Live on Tuesday night. Raw gave us a taste of Roman Reigns but SmackDown showed Fandango what Reigns was really capable of doing. Rowan flies off the top to win the 6 man tag. The Ascension's vignette left me so confused. Did The Road Warriors find the fountain of youth? I don't know who has an easier job, Nikki or Kane. Ziggler nails a Zig-Zag for the win. That's what Rollins gets for talking too much. 

The 12th annual Tribute to the Troops airs tonight at 8pm. Promised to be the most patriotic and heart-warming show of the holiday season, WWE brings together the best of sports entertainment and pop culture. The Tribute will chronicle the Superstar's 2 day trip to Fort Benning, a performance by multi-platinum recording artists, Florida Georgia Line, special messages from a long list of celebrities, and I'm sure a few mediocre matches for good measure. 

-Loveblump

WWE Monday Night Raw Recap: The GM Blows Our Cyber Monday Night Raw

Image Credit: wwe.com

Raw opens with announcements from the new "Anonymous Raw General Manager." I would've loved to see John Cena toss that laptop across the ring but like a gentleman, he closes it softly and cuts him promo. The night takes a turn for the worst as Rollins and what's left of The Authority, send Cena through a table....but not before the rest of Team Cena gets their asses handed to them. The GM reveals that the shot at the Heavyweight Title is on the line at TLC in two weeks. If Cena's not careful, we could have a Rollins vs Brock match in a few months. 

Tag-team Turmoil looked more like a walk in the park for The Usos. After The New Day eliminated The Dust Brothers and Tyson Kidd pinned Kofi, The Usos attack Cesaro and don't even break a sweat taking out Adam Rose. The Usos have nothing to worry about in the ring. Their real problem is The Miz. Jimmy goes nuts after The Miz gets a little flirty complementing Noami's twerking in her new music video, "Dance All Night." He comes out and knocks The Miz right off his feet. I can't wait to see these two in the ring at the PPV. 

Vince was in the building to remind us about his Stone Cold interview on the WWE Network. They try to convince us Big Show is a bully. Fandango vs Swagger turns into Swagger vs Rusev. Ambrose kills Bray Wyatt's rocking chair. Paul Heyman compares Brock Lesnar to Christmas and the 6 man main event let Team Babyface get even for the beat down in the beginning of the show. 

If you weren't paying attention, you would have missed my favorite part of Raw. Saint Mick debuts with Noelle Foley. I try really hard to not to be a pervert so I won't throw in a Mr. Socko joke but Mankind's daughter is smoking hot! Follow her on twitter @NoelleFoley.

Next week Seth Green hosts the Slammys in Greenville, South Carolina. If you have the WWE app, don't forget to vote! 

-Loveblump