TGIF: Destination Dixie Land, Matt Really Hated Raw, Bad News In January, and More

T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: #279

Good day to you all and welcome to We Want Insanity. I am your host for today, Matt Dawgs and this is my column. Today is the end of the work week and the time to look back at all the goings-on over the past seven days as I wrap it up with a bow and spout it out bit by bit. Buckle up. As previously noted, you can catch my OTHER COLUMN which is the “ WWE NETWORK PPV OF THE WEEK ” where I and 3 friends discussed an old WWE/WCW/ECW PPV from the archives. Join us on SUNDAY as we review WWE "Survivor Series 1987" and check it out to see if it is worth watching. Also check out this week’s “ THE QUESTION ” where James Guttman, James Bullock (why do we have two James writing for the site? We need to change his name to Miguel or something) and myself answer a random question each week. This week’s “Question”, what is professional wrestling’s WORST theme song?

MATT NOTE: Last weekend the North East independent world had a huge weekend with Tommy Dreamer’s “House of Hardcore” selling out the ECW arena on a stacked show, Jersey All Pro Wrestling returning for the first time in over a year and some other independent shows in New Jersey and Long Island doing excellent live attendance for their shows. With that being said, a story that is sucking the life out of all of those involved a small time New Jersey Independent promoter by the name of Mike Morgan. Morgan runs Ace Pro Wrestling out of Union City. That promotion is best known for honing some of the best talent in the North East indies and being a place where a lot of people called their “home fed” including Jay Lethal (who was the school’s trainer and longtime World Champion) and current WWE Divas Champion A.J. Lee (who did most of her training there and even visited it for a WWE.com feature a few years back). Anyway, on Friday November 14^th, Mike Morgan’s oldest son Mike Jr. (20 years old) was walking home from taking his younger siblings, brother Adrian (11 years old) and sister Mileen (15 years old) to the movies to see “Dumb and Dumber To”. Upon walking home, a red Nissan Rogue jumped the curb and struck Mike Jr. and Adrian while narrowly missing Mileen. The car then fled the scene leaving behind a headlight and part of the fender. 11-yr old Adrian was IMPALED ON A FENCE and is in critical condition. 20-yr old Mike is also in critical condition and had to have his right leg amputated in addition to undergoing brain surgery to stop the bleeding. It is a tough situation and Morgan Sr. was the LAST PROMOTER I worked for in my wrestling career. He is an absolute wonderful person with a huge heart who tried to help as many lost causes as he could with professional wrestling. So if you can spare, please help DONATE to a “Go Fund Me” that has been set up to help pay for his son’s mounting medical costs as both kids are not out of the woods yet and will require additional surgeries as well as an extended hospital stay. Late Wednesday evening, the suspects ARE IN CUSTODY.

BONUS MATT NOTE: Happy Thanksgiving to all. There will be NO COLUMN next week. So enjoy the holiday and eat a lot of food. See you in December with both T.G.I.F. and my WWE Network PPV of the Week as since Sunday is Survivor Series, there will be no PPV review either.

WWE NEWS AND NOTES:

- It has been a LONG TIME since I went on a rant like this so sit back and enjoy the ride because this is going to be fun for those of you who call me a WWE apologizer. Yes Chucky, I am looking at you.

- I honestly don’t even know where to start. So many MIND BLOWINGLY STUPID things took place during RAW this week in what was supposed to be the “Go Home” show for Survivor Series yet really only focused on the main event of Survivor Series while everything else was secondary.

- The show opened with a marathon of a promo by Triple H and Stephanie with the rest of Team Authority where he legit spoke for 16 minutes and didn’t say one single solitary word that was noteworthy other than setting up Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler. I get it. The show is 3 hours and it isn’t WWE’s choice. But honestly, do not let people ramble on and on and on and on without anything to say. Also....would someone in creative PLEASE come up with a new outline for the show? The drawn out promo to start the show is played out. We need a breath of fresh air to help break the monotony. It wasn’t until HHH and Steph rambled for 15 minutes that Ryback came out to tell them that he isn’t on Team Cena or Team Authority. He is on his own team. That was after Stephanie showed Ryback clips of John Cena burying him verbally when they feuded in 2012 including mocking Ryback at the time.

- By the way, for the sake of continuity, would it have been so hard to have Mark Henry and Rusev standing on OPPOSITE sides of the ring instead as close to each other as they were sanding considering they were just feuding not too long ago doing the Russia vs. USA thing?

- Luke Harper DEFEATED Dolph Ziggler to capture the Intercontinental Title. This is a significant moment because it means that either Ziggler is set to get a major push finally or....Harper is going to be buried now because the IC Champ has been nothing but jobber fodder for several years now. Either way, while a good, stiff match between two good workers, this is significant because Ziggler is on Team Cena and before the match officially got underway he was laid out by Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury yet conspicuous by his absence was Ziggler’s team captain this Sunday, John Cena. Weird.

- By the way, I really like how they have repackaged both Luke Harper and Eric Rowan after breaking them away from Bray Wyatt without repackaging them at all. They are exactly the same. WTF?

- Grumpy Cat, or as Cole called him, “Grumpy THE Cat”. I refuse to put this over with words. I am not. That will be the LAST I mention of him in this column so if you liked a skit involving him on the show that took place, please refrain from mentioning it because I will not put it over. It’s DUMB.

- I am completely lost by the Adam Rose/Bunny angle. WHO THE F*CK IS THE HEEL AND WHO THE F*CK IS THE BABYFACE?!?!?!?!!? Why am I supposed to care again? What is going on? PS – I was thisclose to turning off the TV as soon as Rose lost and then confronted the Bunny who started to HUMP ADAM ROSE . I am not making this up. The Bunny was humping Adam Rose from behind and the announcers acknowledged it as such in a “comedic” way. I quote comedic because it was not funny in any way, shape or form and not for nothing, it was NOT very PG rated. So stupid and almost ruined you readers from getting my complete RAW thoughts this week.

- So after opening the show with a long, drawn out promo to open the show, WWE decided that it would be best to add a Bray Wyatt in-ring promo to close the first hour of RAW. And you KNOW how I have felt about Bray Wyatt’s promos lately. Same old sh*t. Thank god Dean Ambrose appeared on the Titan Tron and legitimately began complaining about Bray’s promos being long and nonsensical. Looks like Dean has been reading T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs huh??? He then appears FROM BEHIND Bray and attacks as the Titan Tron was a pre-taped promo. Cool angle but again, way too long.

- The second hour opens with Ryback coming out to eat some more. His opponent was Cesaro. My first though harkened back to “Who the f*ck did Cesaro piss off backstage?” Like, I now NEED to know because his burial has been so bad of late. Do you remember when Cesaro won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and then became a Paul Heyman guy the following evening and everyone thought he was going to get a legit main event run? HAHA!!! Good times. Anyway, after a few minutes of back and forth action I felt relieved. Cesaro was not getting squashed. This was great......until I realized that Ryback was getting such a big push of late. He is being protected as a main event guy. Both the top heels and top babyfaces are feuding over him. So if that is the case and that is where the booking is taking you, to building Ryback, WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU BOOK HIM IN A 14 MINUTE COMPETITIVE MATCH VS. A GUY YOU HAVE MADE LOOK LIKE A FOOL AS OF LATE ?!?!?!?!?!?! I do not get it. Ryback looked slow and tired after 4 minutes. Cesaro absolutely should not have been doing multiple power moves on him. Just terrible booking of Ryback.

- Lana and Rusev are a great act. I really hope WWE stops with the minor stifling of their growth like they had the past few weeks with Stephanie McMahon talking down to them and making them look inferior to them. Vince McMahon, despite being the Mr. McMahon character and the boss NEVER made his main event talents look like fools. Never would he have talked down to Steve Austin, The Rock, The Undertaker, Kane, Mankind, Triple H, etc and if the small chance that he did, NEVER in a million years would they just stand there and take it. I HATE when Steph does that to people. Anyway, Lana discussed Kim Kardashian and then teased a topless photo that she had. The crowd popped and she showed a topless photo of Vladimir Putin. SOLID F*CKING GOLD!!!!! The angle was getting heat and then WWE sucked it out of the building by sending out Heath Slater. Sigh. SQUASH CITY .

- Then, in what is yet another insanely INSANE SEGMENT , Big Show came out for his match and Stephanie McMahon interrupted him. She noted that she wanted him to quit Team Cena and in exchange she would name him as the first inductee to the 2015 WWE Hall of Fame. Big Show put the mic down and began whispered to her but was interrupted by Sheamus. Before the interruption I would like to point out that it was not that long ago when Stephanie and Triple H threatened to fire Show and made his life miserable. Now they want him in the Hall of Fame. For arguments sake, I will let this slide by saying that they were doing whatever they could as heels to keep their power by keeping Show off Team Cena. That is fine. But then you look at the other side of the coin and SHOW WAS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING THIS!!!! The Big Show, who HATED Stephanie and HHH and was crying when they fired him and he had to beg to come back and turn on Daniel Bryan in order to do so CONSIDERED TRUSTING STEPHANIE MCMAHON!!!! So Sheamus comes out and Stephanie threatens him with deportation. Yes. DEPORTATION. WTF??? Stephanie books Big Show vs. Sheamus IN A MATCH . But before it could get anywhere, Rusev and Mark Henry run out and destroy both men including “injuring” Sheamus and thus taking him out of the Survivor Series main event.

- Sheamus is undergoing surgery hence why he was written out. It is not major surgery and he isn't expected to miss significant time.

- The above angle is SUPER NOTEWORTHY because unless WWE is planning on turning John Cena HEEL on Sunday at Survivor Series in the swerve of all swerves, WHY IN THE WORLD DID CENA NOT COME OUT AGAIN AND HELP HIS TEAMMATES FROM GETTING A BEATING?!?!?!?! He is in the building because they showed him being interviewed by Renee Young and again watching Ryback’s match on a monitor. Where was he during this???

- Brie Bella dressed up as A.J. (cause Nikki wanted to prep for her match with A.J. on Sunday) DEFEATED Nikki due to an A.J. distraction. I have heard constant rumors that A.J. is done with WWE after Sunday at Survivor Series so this could be her exit storyline after losing to Nikki at the PPV. This fire was further fueled as A.J. apparently created an EBAY account toward the end of October and has been periodically auctioning old ring gear on the site. After the match, A.J. laid out BOTH Bellas. Please note I have NO CONFIRMATION that A.J. is in fact leaving. It is just rumor and innuendo at this point.

- By the way, it has almost been 30 days meaning that Brie Bella is going to no longer be Nikki’s assistant soon. What a waste of an angle!!!!! They did nothing for this angle at all.

- FANDANGO ON SUNDAY?!?!?! Nice, I thought he was dead.

- It’s a “ NEW DAY ” for Big E. Langston. This is a complete 180 from when this angle debuted in July. Whatever though, it is something new and fresh on our televisions.

- Cena confronted Ryback backstage and asked him to join the team. Ryback reiterated that he is Team Ryback. Cena then decided to insult him further as if that is a good way to get him to join. SMH. He did have a good line though with the insult saying “For a guy who is always wanted to be fed more, it’s odd that he finally gets to the big table and suddenly isn’t hungry.”

- Next week’s RAW host is Larry the Cable Guy. I am so glad it is 2005 again!!! Honestly, WWE is doing this because he is starring in a sequel to the 1996 “Jingle All The Way” film which Santino Marrella has a role in.

- The Miz & Mizdow & Goldust & Stardust vs. The Usos & Los Matadores. WWE FUN FACT: I read my column from exactly a year ago last week and going into LAST YEAR’S SURVIVOR SERIES, do you know who was feuding? If you guessed Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. The Usos you WIN!!! They have been feuding for ONE YEAR!!! WTF?!?!?! Anyway, MAJOR PROPS to Miz who busted out Heel 101 school stuff during this match. The crowd was going apesh*t for Mizdown wanting him in the match. When Miz made the tag to him, the crowd erupted like Hogan slammed Andre. As soon as Mizdow got in the ring, Miz blind tagged himself back in. AMAZING!!!!!

- With about 20 minutes remaining in the show, the Authority came out for the contract signing to the main event of Survivor Series. 20 MINUTES LEFT. Lots of talking here by HHH and Steph. Cena came out with no teammates since they were all taken out and he did nothing all show to help them from being beaten down. So obviously he has no partners. Not only did he have no partners come out but instead of being combative and anti-authority (no pun intended) when confronting HHH and Steph, He.......Cracked......Jokes.

HE CRACKED JOKES.

HE CRACKED JOKES!!!!!!

- John Cena, with a chance to end the Authority’s reign on Sunday and with no teammates to stand beside him since they were all injured while he just watched from a monitor backstage instead of helping, found this situation to be funny enough that he could crack jokes that weren’t funny about it. I AM COMPLETELY AT A LOSS FOR WORDS AT THIS. No one, not Cena, not Vince McMahon, not Triple H, not Stephanie, not Michael Hayes, not Arn Anderson, not Dean Malenko, not Michael Cole, not JBL, not Big Show, not Sheamus, not Luke Harper, not anyone in the building who saw the script before the show went on the air realized how f*cking stupid this was?? No one? All the great wrestling minds that work for this company and no one spoke up? Anyway, Cena gets slapped and he decides he wants to fight everyone on the Authority right now, by himself. Dolph Ziggler comes out to help even though Cena didn’t do the same for him. Then Big Show comes out even though Cena didn’t do the same for him. No Sheamus though because he was taken out of the main event in exchange for....ERIC ROWAN. Yes, Eric Rowan who has been playing the role of Lenny Small from “Of Mice and Men” on television for the past few weeks is now in the main event picture. WHAT. THE. F*CK?!?!?! Then Cesaro came out to even the score but he sided with the Authority. That was a tease apparently because now the Authority for some unknown reason had 6 guys instead of 5. Um....dumb. But Ryback came out and officially joined Team Cena. Cena LAID OUT HHH to end the show by putting him through a table. To reiterate my comment from a few weeks ago, no idea why Triple H didn’t sign up for his own team since he wants the best possible team he can get in order to win. Once again, stupid booking. Such an awful show and minus the main event build, the rest of the card for Survivor Series was an afterthought.

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