Friday, November 7, 2014

TGIF: The Insanity of Rusev-Sheamus, No One Hit On Shelton's Momma, and More


T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: #277

Good day to you all and welcome to We Want Insanity. I am your host for today, Matt Dawgs and this is my column. Today is the end of the work week and the time to look back at all the goings-on over the past seven days as I wrap it up with a bow and spout it out bit by bit. Buckle up. As previously noted, you can catch my OTHER COLUMN which is the “ WWE NETWORK PPV OF THE WEEK ” where I and 3 friends discussed an old WWE/WCW/ECW PPV from the archives. Join us on SUNDAY as we review WCW “Great American Bash 1989” and check it out to see if it is worth watching. Also check out this week’s “ THE QUESTION ” where James Guttman, James Bullock (why do we have two James writing for the site? We need to change his name to Tinashe or something) and myself answer a random question each week. This week’s “Question”, what is TV’s best theme song?


WWE NEWS AND NOTES:

- RAW = TRAIN. WRECK. Oh my god was RAW this week all over the f*cking place. Just complete lack of logic in almost every turn. Don’t believe me? Well let me break it down for you......

- Last week on RAW, the show was the start of the big Survivor Series angle involving Team Cena vs. Team Authority. Smackdown and the website all week were discussing the fact that John Cena would choose his team on RAW on Monday. I believe even the teaser WWE does on the site made note of that on Sunday. Then comes RAW on Monday and.....JOHN CENA ISN’T EVEN ON THE SHOW. WTF?!?!?! But that is just the start of the insanity.

- The show opened with a pleasant but surprisingly unannounced surprise. After a YEAR absence from television, Vince McMahon made his TRIMUPHANT RETURN to WWE television alongside his daughter and son-in-law HHH to open the show. Vince plugged the WWE Network as expected but surprisingly didn’t bother to mention the UK getting the Network as Monday was launch day there (more on this below). He then threw a curve ball out of left field that can be described as two ways. One way to describe it would be complete and utter desperation in order to get new subscribers to the Network. The second way to describe it would be Vince’s attempt to get a hot angle going and ideally the same angle that was talked about a full year ago which would pit Triple H vs. Vince’s proxy at Wrestlemania for complete control of the company. My guess is that it is a little bit of both. Vince announced that if the Authority’s team loses at Survivor Series then the Authority will NO LONGER BE IN CONTROL OF WWE. Now this is just my guess but I believe that this will lead to the tease we saw a few weeks ago with Triple H vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania as the original plan last year was for Triple H vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (Vince’s 1st choice) or Triple H vs. The Rock (Vince’s 2nd choice) but both men fell through and then the Daniel Bryan phenomenon took over to they decided to scrap the idea altogether. So I think that is where we are going with this.

- Dean Ambrose and Cesaro FOUGHT AGAIN. I enjoy their matches but as noted in the last two columns, it is the same formula for RAW week in and week out. Cesaro got bloodied, not sure how and he required 5 staples to close the cut on his head on Monday. During the commercial break in his match with Dean Ambrose, WWE medical personnel were able to temporarily close the cut so he could continue the match and then put the staples in when he got backstage following the match. More Bray Wyatt magic stuff. I am not into him anymore. They did a fantastic job of killing his momentum DEAD if that was their intention.

- Remember when Cesaro won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, it was treated like a big deal, he won this huge trophy and then was made a Paul Heyman guy and he got pushed to the moon? LOL. Good times.

- Should I start saying POOR MIZ? Seems that was as his matches have somehow now become a backdrop for Damien Mizdown to be showcased.

- So here is where more complete f*cking insanity comes around. The entire first hour in another desperate attempt to get more subscribers to the Network, WWE hyped that Sheamus would defend the US title vs. Rusev following RAW LIVE, exclusively on the Network. So instead of video packages to hype the match or promos from both men backstage or even in the ring hyping it, following the Miz vs. Jimmy Uso match we had SHEAMUS IN ACTION VS. TYSON KIDD!!!!! Not only that, but Sheamus F*CKING LOSES?!?!?!?!?! WHAT?????? Who in the hell was the genius who decided to have Sheamus lose a match before his “big” title defense live on the Network??? Why was this booked? And before you say that it was done to get over the Kidd/Nattie angle or that Sheamus vs. Rusev was booked last minute after the show was written, all you had to do was substitute Sheamus with R-Truth or Big E. Langston or anyone else and done the exact same match. Sheamus didn’t need to be sacrificed for it. SMH. And if for some unknown reason you decide that you NEED to have Sheamus wrestle on RAW, then have him win cleanly. That is the smartest form of booking. Oh...you needed Kidd to win? Then book him vs. someone who can afford a loss, especially since he won via countout. And on top of all that....if you needed Kidd to win then why the f*ck did Sheamus lay him out with the Brogue Kick after the match? I feel like I am in bizzaro world with this match. Mind Blowingly Dumb Booking.

- Dolph Ziggler continues his ride on the jobber train with a lame DQ win over Seth Rollins. Um...not for nothing but before the match was announced, the entire Authority came out to confront Ziggler and to try and CONVINCE HIM to join Team Authority. Triple H then proceeded to sing all sorts of praises for Ziggler. This would be an extremely useful angle and believable if DOLPH ZIGGLER EVER WON A F*CKING MATCH. This is the same Ziggler who legit just got over an 8 television match losing streak. Why are we supposed to believe he is such an asset when you book him to be a jobber with a belt? If I were Triple H, I would be encouraging Ziggler to be on Cena’s team. He is an easy elimination if you go by his television performances!!!

- By the way, 100% chance that HHH was speaking in code when he said that “something always gets in the way” of Ziggler every time he starts to rise to the top. I am sure that was a shoot disguised as a worked comment.

- The MATCH ITSELF wasn’t the type of quality you’d expect from them but Orton running in and laying out Rollins with an RKO OUTTANOWHERE was awesome and becoming a running gag. I like it. Although it is doing nothing but position Orton as a full-fledged face. It also didn’t help HHH’s argument from before the match since Rollins essentially destroyed him before curb stomping him into oblivion until the run in. BTW, Orton’s run in causes the DQ thus Ziggler loses again. Just saying.

- BTW, Orton is not scheduled for any future RAW’s between now and Survivor Series hence the show closing angle and he was actually removed by WWE from Survivor Series local ads over the weekend which is extremely odd since this RAW focused on him and Rollins competing over control of Team Authority at the PPV and more so because the PPV is IN ST. LOUIS, HIS HOMETOWN!!!!!!

- Two weeks in a row where Orton cuts a fiery promo breaking away from his slow, monotone promos. Last week I complained, this week it is growing on me.

- Who was the PROMO WITH THE EYES about? I assumed the Ascension but I am hearing others speculate Luke Harper. Anyone know? Guesses?

- More Insanity, YAY!!!! Last week Ryback randomly was a babyface and crushed his opponent to the crowd’s delight. How does WWE follow that up? By having Ryback have a back and forth COMPETITIVE MATCH with perennial jobber Titus O’Neal!!!!

- PS – I honestly think WWE is going to try and make us forget about the last year when Ryback was a mid-card/opening card heel/jobber and pretend he is a main event talent again. He is likely going to be Team Cena at Survivor Series.

- Insanity Segment Alert: What in the blue hell was up with Big Show’s teary eyed promo about wanting his friend Mark Henry back? That was incredibly lame and a bit homosexual. He misses his friend. What?

- And as you can see, creative is in panic mode doing things the completely rushed way because they don’t know where they are going with angles. BIG SHOW VS. MARK HENRY on RAW rather than at Survivor Series? Weird. Then end it in a DQ? Worse than weird.

- So that Erik Rowan SEGMENT huh?

- Definitely not enough Brie/Nikki skits with Brie being her assistant. I am thoroughly disappointed as WWE is failing to capitalize on a bunch of potentially entertaining skits.

- Wait... “ A NEW DAY IS COMING”???? Xavier Woods??? Is WWE finally going to debut Woods/Big E/Kofi as a trio? This angle started IN JULY!!!!!

- And WWE is going to call them “The New Day” instead of those lame names I heard about a few months back liek "Speed Force" or "Athletic Friends". Good.

- Zack Ryder tweeted to John Cena that he is ready if Cena needs him to be on his team at Survivor Series. WWE actually showed the tweet on RAW. WWE is oblivious to the fact that Ryder 100% did that on his own to troll the internet and WWE fell for it likely thinking that Ryder did it in storyline per the creative team’s wishes. Anyway, Ryder was on Raw and he GOT KILLED by Rusev. You know, the same Rusev who is getting a US title match LIVE on the Network following RAW. SMH.

- Mark this down, save this column. If Rusev is on Team Authority at the PPV and Team Authority is booked to lose, then I GUARAN-F*CKING-TEE that Rusev gets eliminated by DQ. If they win, Rusev will be a survivor.

- MORE INSANITY!!! Los Matadores DEFEATED the WWE Tag Team Champions in a non-title match on RAW. How are Los Matadores rewarded for their big win? They are rewarded by The Usos getting a tag team title match on Smackdown tonight in a steel cage!!!!! Read that sentence again because you might be confused by what I wrote. THE F*CKING USOS are getting a title shot tonight even though Los Matadores PINNED the champs cleanly.

- And finally, for the 186 consecutive WWE show in a row, a combination of John Cena/Dean Ambrose/Randy Orton/Kane/Seth Rollins main events a show. At least we FINALLY GOT A CLEAN FINISH in the main event rather than a DQ. It was a solid match and Orton seemed motivated even though he has made it clear backstage that he doesn’t want to be a babyface. Rollins with the clean victory using a backslide? Someone was watching Flair vs. Steamboat matches on the Network this week.

- The POST MATCH ANGLE was good stuff. Orton nailing HHH with a forearm was good and I assume that even though he is supposed to be on Team Authority, he is now a babyface since he was laid out by Rollins, Kane, Mercury, Noble and a hesitant HHH who only joined in at Stephanie’s request. The running angle is that Orton is “injured” and he is not expected to be at Survivor Series.


-Matt Dawgs  
        
Questions, Corrections, Comments, Feedback or Ideas: Dawgs@wewantinsanity.com 

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