WWE Raw Recap: "Daddy's Home" With Less Than a Week Til Payback

Triple H makes his return just in time to discipline his puppies. Kane and Rollins bicker like children and Hunter thinks it's time to cut the crap. He puts his foot down and declares the Fatal 4-way will go on. Just to prove his "authority" Hunter announces everyone has matches tonight. Kane vs Reigns. Rollins vs Orton. Even J&J are forced to compete in a Handicap match against Dean Ambrose. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

After last weeks phenomenal show, I didn't know what to expect this week on Raw. I definitely was not prepared for the heartbreak I endured watching Daniel Bryan relinquish the Intercontinental Championship. We all knew it was coming. Neck injuries have taken out some of our brightest stars. All I can do now is wish the boy a speedy recovery and pray that someday he makes his way back in the ring.

Let me point out that the first link that pops up when you Google Sami Zayn is the Wikipedia for El Generico. Ole, Motherfucker, Ole! Cena's open challenge has been the best part of my Monday these last couple weeks. Last week was no exception with Zayn's debut. This week Neville continues to impress me. Sunday, Cena takes on Rusev, again, in an "I QUIT" match that is sure to dissatisfy.

-Loveblump

Monday Night Raw Recap; Plus Curb Stomp Banned? Extreme Rules will SUCK!

Extreme Rules is happening this weekend from Chicago! After 2 weeks of terrible Raws, WWE will turn over an even worse PPV. Randy Orton promised to RKO the entire roster including "the undistruped future" since his finisher is banned on Sunday. Also, Ryback attacked a giant hot dog. That's all that happened this week. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Raw was a total disappointment and to top it off Daniel Bryan is still out. "Bryan is undergoing diagnostic testing to see if he can defend his title at Extreme Rules." I wish he would stop pretending to be a 60 year old yoga instructor and remember that hes a professional wrestler. Herbs and magic will not cure your injuries. I hope this isn't a repeat if last year. 

Rumors of The Curb Stomp being banned surfaced when Rollins used a new finisher on Ziggler Monday Night. Why is there a russian chain match when WWE doesnt allow choking? Is Rusev gunna go all 50 shades and whip Cena?! The WWE has not addressed the issue and no one knows for sure if stomping a man's face into the mat is actually banned completely. I say we keep the Curb Stomp and have Orton bring back the Punt. 

-Loveblump

Seth Rollins Leaves Wrestlemania a Champion While Ronda Rousey Takes Down The Authority

Like many people, I was shocked at how good Wrestlemania 31 was. 76,976 people filling up Levi's Stadium took fifth for the all time record for Mania attendees. So much awesome-ness in one show I don't know where to start so here's a re-cap of the night. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Pre-show

Andre the Giant Battle Royal: Big Show

Fatal 4 way Tag Match: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro

Main Card

Intercontinental Championship: Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton defeats Seth Rollins

No Disqualification: Triple H

AJ Lee and Paige defeat The Bella Twins

United States Championship: Cena

Undertaker defeats Bray Wyatt

Main Event

World Heavy-weight Championship: Seth Rollins

You read that right, the guy with his dick on the internet is the WWE Heavy-weight Champion. He may not have pinned Brock but he gave Reigns the Curb Stomp of his life for the win. Speaking of Curb Stomps, the match between Rollins and Orton was my favorite of the night, after Taker, of course. Randy Orton pops out of a Curb Stomp throwing Rollins in the air with just his head. I could watch it over and over. The old men get a little help from their friends when The nWo and DX make their way to the ring half way through the match. Definitely something to check out if you didn't catch the PPV. Might as well skip the Cena match. It was long and boring and pissed me off from the beginning. Why did Rusev come out in a tank? 

I had a good time watching Wrestlemania this year. WWE really stepped up their game. Giving us something to look forward to The Rock has teamed up with Ronda Rousey to take on The Authority. After Stephanie insults Rock with a slap in the face, he searches the crowd for a familiar face. I don't watch UFC but I recognized the name. Ronda was ready to go right then and there taking out Hunter with a judo throw. She looks like she will own the WWE ring for sure. 

Nothing made me happier than watching The Deadman kick ass. He looked great out there, off the top rope, out of the ring, in the ring. It was magic. Wyatt should have known better than to try to raise hell. Hell will destroy you. 

-Loveblump

WWE Raw Recap: Wiz Rocks a Cena Shirt and Randy Orton Rocks My world

World's collide when hip hop super star Wiz Khalifa comes out for Monday Night Raw live from Pittsburgh, PA. While the rest of the universe is talking shit, I was bursting at the seems with excitement. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Heyman was gold, #Wizdow was trending worldwide, Bray and Taker has me at the edge of my seat, and the main event was probably one of the best I've seen this year. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

Did Vince know what he was getting into when he signed off on Wiz? Controversial tweets from the stoner rapper may be considered bad press for a family friendly show. "Ever perform a song for the first time in front of millions? Ever perform a song for the first time in front of million ON WEED!" Keep it classy, Wiz. 

To add to the controversy, Randy Orton stole the show(and my heart) when he turned on The Authority and flipped 'em the bird. I don't know why this isn't making a bigger splash around the wrestling community. Granted, this isn't a first for the Viper and the split from the Authority was predictable, Orton blew my mind with his performance. They are expected to face each other at Wrestlemania later this month. 

-Loveblump    

Happy Birthday WWE Network! Fast Lane, Raw, and Chyna "Twerkin'"

This week marks the first birthday of the WWE network and the true start of the road to Wrestlemania 31. Raw opens with Randy Orton on the mic trying to explain how The Authority kept him out of action for the last four months. He should of explained why he was hanging out backstage Sunday night in his gear. While Fast Lane may not have delivered, Raw, and the announcement of free streaming of the network for 24 hours, definitely made up for it. 

Image Credit: wwe.com

After a little bit of sweet talk from Boss Lady, Orton returns to The Authority for the main event tag match. It appears that Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns became BFFs after Fast Lane and it definitely showed in the ring Monday night. Orton and Rollins storm off with their tails between their legs. That match was the highlight of my night.

Last week TMZ reported on the terrible twerking video Chyna posted to her social media sites. From what I understand, Chyna admits to falling off the sober wagon tweeting from @ChynaJoanLaurer on February 24th. "Hi everyone. I have been kept denying the fact that I have been an alcohhol...This has been very hard... I am."  This seems to be a contributing factor to all the non-sense going on at her YouTube, Toyko Chyna. If you haven't heard, Chyna has been working in the adult entertainment industry since leaving WWE in 2001. Posing nude for Playboy, starring in 6 adult films, collecting 2 AVN awards, and working for the LA Porn Star Escort Service has been her claim to fame for the last 10 years. She has since retired and resides in Japan teaching private English classes. 

In all honesty, Chyna Doll looks like any other silly drunk girl dancing around her room in her underwear. She's just trying to live her life. Maybe she wasn't even drinking and that's just her charismatic personality. I do believe she's trying her hardest to live a normal life free of addiction. I think if these last few articles have taught me anything, it's that professional wrestlers are normal people that like to get fucked up and take pictures of their dicks. 

-Loveblump

Raw Reunion restores faith in WWE just in time for Royal Rumble

Image Credit: wwe.com

Some things never change. The Authority continues their reign making John Cena's life a living hell. If the Lumberjack Match wasn't enough, this week was sure to kill his spirit. It seems like the only way to win around here is to cheat. A 3-on-1 Handicap Match should have left Cena out cold but Sting came back to save the day. He didn't even have to do anything! Just the threat of Sting in the arena was enough distraction for Cena to get the pin and win back Ziggler, Ryback, and Erick Rowan for Royal Rumble. 

Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and HBK's Legend's Panel was a snooze-fest til Big Show came out. I was certain Flair broke his hip so i was happy to see him get up. Roman Reigns looks like a normal sized guy next to Show. It doesn't make sense how fast he can shoo Big Show out of the ring. 

The nWo reunion blew my mind. When JBL stood up I knew it was going down. As if there wasn't enough old men in the ring, the New Age Outlaws came out to beat the shit out of The Ascension, giving them a taste of what they're in forSunday night. Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, XPac, JBL, Farooq, Road Dogg, and Billy Gunn all in the same ring. This segment was great. Between the surprise appearances and JBL's Clothesline from Hell, I think we need more Legends on Monday Nights.

 

-Loveblump

Back! WWE Monday Night Raw Recap; Cena Appreciation Day!

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Last week, Daniel Bryan surprised us by revealing his Royal Rumble return! YES! YES! YES! This week we witness the return of The Authority. The first order of business was to announce Seth Rollins' chance at Brock's belt at Royal Rumble. Next, a show of gratitude, naming Monday, January 5, 2015, "John Cena Appreciation Day." If you thought this was going to end well for Team Cena, you'd be saddly mistaken. 

Not only did they feel the wrath of The Authority during their matches, each member of Team Cena was fired at the end of the night. Kane's interuption during the night's first match indicated that Ziggler is a target of The Authority's bullying. J&J Security teamed up in the refs spot to make sure Eric Rowan went down. It took 2 opponents and 2 curb stomps to take The Big Guy down. Seeing as Ryback betrayed The Authority by switching teams, I was expecting him to go through hell on Monday. Leave with a bang. 

The main event needed more blood. I know its only Raw but it was the first ever Ambulance Match. Both men flew off the top of the rig to landing on his opponent below. But that was it. The match was boring and dragged out. Bray Wyatt threw Ambrose in the back of the ambulence and the match was over. 

-Loveblump

Raw is Jericho, SuperSmackDown, Tribute to the Troops and more

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What a start to WWE week! Following TLC, Monday Night Raw opened to this week's GM, Y2J, announcing the night's 2 HUGE main events. A fan picked street fight with none other than Jericho, himself, and big mouthed Paul Heyman. Followed by rematch of Cena vs Rollins in a steel cage. The street fight couldn't even start before Brock Lesnar laid Jericho out with an F-5. No one expected any physical activity from Heyman. He may have put on some ring gear but that wasn't fooling anyone. I guess Brock feels the need to make up for lost time because he comes out during the steel cage match to remind Cena what he's in for at the Royal Rumble. Rollins hit Cena with a Curb Stomp and exits the cage.

USA Network switched up our regular schedules with a SuperSmackDown Live on Tuesday night. Raw gave us a taste of Roman Reigns but SmackDown showed Fandango what Reigns was really capable of doing. Rowan flies off the top to win the 6 man tag. The Ascension's vignette left me so confused. Did The Road Warriors find the fountain of youth? I don't know who has an easier job, Nikki or Kane. Ziggler nails a Zig-Zag for the win. That's what Rollins gets for talking too much. 

The 12th annual Tribute to the Troops airs tonight at 8pm. Promised to be the most patriotic and heart-warming show of the holiday season, WWE brings together the best of sports entertainment and pop culture. The Tribute will chronicle the Superstar's 2 day trip to Fort Benning, a performance by multi-platinum recording artists, Florida Georgia Line, special messages from a long list of celebrities, and I'm sure a few mediocre matches for good measure. 

-Loveblump

WWE Monday Night Raw Recap: The GM Blows Our Cyber Monday Night Raw

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Raw opens with announcements from the new "Anonymous Raw General Manager." I would've loved to see John Cena toss that laptop across the ring but like a gentleman, he closes it softly and cuts him promo. The night takes a turn for the worst as Rollins and what's left of The Authority, send Cena through a table....but not before the rest of Team Cena gets their asses handed to them. The GM reveals that the shot at the Heavyweight Title is on the line at TLC in two weeks. If Cena's not careful, we could have a Rollins vs Brock match in a few months. 

Tag-team Turmoil looked more like a walk in the park for The Usos. After The New Day eliminated The Dust Brothers and Tyson Kidd pinned Kofi, The Usos attack Cesaro and don't even break a sweat taking out Adam Rose. The Usos have nothing to worry about in the ring. Their real problem is The Miz. Jimmy goes nuts after The Miz gets a little flirty complementing Noami's twerking in her new music video, "Dance All Night." He comes out and knocks The Miz right off his feet. I can't wait to see these two in the ring at the PPV. 

Vince was in the building to remind us about his Stone Cold interview on the WWE Network. They try to convince us Big Show is a bully. Fandango vs Swagger turns into Swagger vs Rusev. Ambrose kills Bray Wyatt's rocking chair. Paul Heyman compares Brock Lesnar to Christmas and the 6 man main event let Team Babyface get even for the beat down in the beginning of the show. 

If you weren't paying attention, you would have missed my favorite part of Raw. Saint Mick debuts with Noelle Foley. I try really hard to not to be a pervert so I won't throw in a Mr. Socko joke but Mankind's daughter is smoking hot! Follow her on twitter @NoelleFoley.

Next week Seth Green hosts the Slammys in Greenville, South Carolina. If you have the WWE app, don't forget to vote! 

-Loveblump

Contract Signing and Grumpy Cat; Monday Night Raw Recap

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Heading into Survivor Series, "Team Cena" has The Authority on their toes. The fate of WWE lies in their hands after all. Stephanie tries every trick in the book to change Ryback's mind. He declares he is only playing for one team and that's Team Ryback. Threats of deportation couldn't sway Shemus. Bribes of Hall of Fame induction did nothing to persuade Big Show to switch teams. Ziggler comes out looking better than ever for his match against Luke Harper. The match doesn't even start before it's interfered by The Goons. Rollins has a lot to say on commentary. Harper defeats Ziggler by pin fall for the Intercontinental Championship. Mark Henry took Shemus out with a World's Strongest Slam. Big Show and Ziggler are both injured. The Authority wants to wear out Team Cena so there is nothing left of them. There's very little Cena can do but pray to take The Authority out of power. 

A confrontation between Ambrose and Wyatt gave us a taste of what we're in for Sunday night. Despite what Bray has to say about The Lunatic, he does not need saving. Dean Ambrose, "the most dangerous man in the world," because he can't love? Give me a break. He's dangerous because he's smart. I don't know which one of us is more excited that he finally gets his hands on Wyatt. 

As I predicted, Grumpy Cat was the best part of Raw. By far the best celebrity guest this year (besides Foley). Miz was great. That kiss good-bye made my heart skip a beat. Even Erick Rowan wants the cat! She is too cute. Next week Larry the Cable Guy graces our television screens with his presence. Why aren't the guests wrestling anymore? When Snooki came on she looked great in the ring. Bring her back! These celebrities are getting away with doing nothing and it sucks for the fans. 

Hunter makes a very valid point during the contract signing. The future of his family depends on this company. They have more to lose than anyone else. They are going to make sure they win this match. Cena searches the crowd for a new team. He promises the King and Queen will watch their team fall. Team Cena gets a few new members Erick Rowan, Cesaro, and Ryback and sends Hunter through a table to close the show.

-Loveblump

Monday Night Raw Recap: LIVE from Liverpool England!

Image Credit: wwe.com

Live from Liverpool, England! It's like they didn't know what to do with this show so they broke down Survivor Series into seperate matches. The stories sucked as much as the wrestling. I know acting isn't a prority in the WWE Universe but it's was unbelieveable bad last night for some reason. Honestly, I'm more excited about Grumpy Cat next Monday than anything else. I wonder what they'll have him do...

There wasn't much I enjoyed about Raw this week. I did like when Nikki bugged out after Brie lost. She went ape-shit and laid AJ out with a Rack Attack. I would be scared if I was Brie. She may only have a few more days as personal assistant but Nikki is just getting starting. 

Its all about what the Authority wants and they want to win! With a captain like Seth Rollins leading a team of giants, Kane, Rusev, and Mark Henry, The Authority seems unbeatable. Cena better start praying for a miracle. Even with Big Show and Sheamus joining Team Cena, I don't seeing it ending well for them. If tonight's main event is any indication of what will happen in 2 weeks, Good Luck Cena. 

Does anyone know what happened in those last five minutes? Ryback quit Team Authority but did he join Team Cena? Luke Harper delivered a half dead Ziggler to Stephanie's feet. Does that mean he's part of the team now? Is Ziggler out for good? This is supposed to leave you wanting more, biting your nails til next Monday. I just feel jipped. 

-Loveblump 

TGIF: The Insanity of Rusev-Sheamus, No One Hit On Shelton's Momma, and More

T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: #277

Good day to you all and welcome to We Want Insanity. I am your host for today, Matt Dawgs and this is my column. Today is the end of the work week and the time to look back at all the goings-on over the past seven days as I wrap it up with a bow and spout it out bit by bit. Buckle up. As previously noted, you can catch my OTHER COLUMN which is the “ WWE NETWORK PPV OF THE WEEK ” where I and 3 friends discussed an old WWE/WCW/ECW PPV from the archives. Join us on SUNDAY as we review WCW “Great American Bash 1989” and check it out to see if it is worth watching. Also check out this week’s “ THE QUESTION ” where James Guttman, James Bullock (why do we have two James writing for the site? We need to change his name to Tinashe or something) and myself answer a random question each week. This week’s “Question”, what is TV’s best theme song?

WWE NEWS AND NOTES:

- RAW = TRAIN. WRECK. Oh my god was RAW this week all over the f*cking place. Just complete lack of logic in almost every turn. Don’t believe me? Well let me break it down for you......

- Last week on RAW, the show was the start of the big Survivor Series angle involving Team Cena vs. Team Authority. Smackdown and the website all week were discussing the fact that John Cena would choose his team on RAW on Monday. I believe even the teaser WWE does on the site made note of that on Sunday. Then comes RAW on Monday and.....JOHN CENA ISN’T EVEN ON THE SHOW. WTF?!?!?! But that is just the start of the insanity.

- The show opened with a pleasant but surprisingly unannounced surprise. After a YEAR absence from television, Vince McMahon made his TRIMUPHANT RETURN to WWE television alongside his daughter and son-in-law HHH to open the show. Vince plugged the WWE Network as expected but surprisingly didn’t bother to mention the UK getting the Network as Monday was launch day there (more on this below). He then threw a curve ball out of left field that can be described as two ways. One way to describe it would be complete and utter desperation in order to get new subscribers to the Network. The second way to describe it would be Vince’s attempt to get a hot angle going and ideally the same angle that was talked about a full year ago which would pit Triple H vs. Vince’s proxy at Wrestlemania for complete control of the company. My guess is that it is a little bit of both. Vince announced that if the Authority’s team loses at Survivor Series then the Authority will NO LONGER BE IN CONTROL OF WWE. Now this is just my guess but I believe that this will lead to the tease we saw a few weeks ago with Triple H vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania as the original plan last year was for Triple H vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (Vince’s 1st choice) or Triple H vs. The Rock (Vince’s 2nd choice) but both men fell through and then the Daniel Bryan phenomenon took over to they decided to scrap the idea altogether. So I think that is where we are going with this.

- Dean Ambrose and Cesaro FOUGHT AGAIN. I enjoy their matches but as noted in the last two columns, it is the same formula for RAW week in and week out. Cesaro got bloodied, not sure how and he required 5 staples to close the cut on his head on Monday. During the commercial break in his match with Dean Ambrose, WWE medical personnel were able to temporarily close the cut so he could continue the match and then put the staples in when he got backstage following the match. More Bray Wyatt magic stuff. I am not into him anymore. They did a fantastic job of killing his momentum DEAD if that was their intention.

- Remember when Cesaro won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, it was treated like a big deal, he won this huge trophy and then was made a Paul Heyman guy and he got pushed to the moon? LOL. Good times.

- Should I start saying POOR MIZ? Seems that was as his matches have somehow now become a backdrop for Damien Mizdown to be showcased.

- So here is where more complete f*cking insanity comes around. The entire first hour in another desperate attempt to get more subscribers to the Network, WWE hyped that Sheamus would defend the US title vs. Rusev following RAW LIVE, exclusively on the Network. So instead of video packages to hype the match or promos from both men backstage or even in the ring hyping it, following the Miz vs. Jimmy Uso match we had SHEAMUS IN ACTION VS. TYSON KIDD!!!!! Not only that, but Sheamus F*CKING LOSES?!?!?!?!?! WHAT?????? Who in the hell was the genius who decided to have Sheamus lose a match before his “big” title defense live on the Network??? Why was this booked? And before you say that it was done to get over the Kidd/Nattie angle or that Sheamus vs. Rusev was booked last minute after the show was written, all you had to do was substitute Sheamus with R-Truth or Big E. Langston or anyone else and done the exact same match. Sheamus didn’t need to be sacrificed for it. SMH. And if for some unknown reason you decide that you NEED to have Sheamus wrestle on RAW, then have him win cleanly. That is the smartest form of booking. Oh...you needed Kidd to win? Then book him vs. someone who can afford a loss, especially since he won via countout. And on top of all that....if you needed Kidd to win then why the f*ck did Sheamus lay him out with the Brogue Kick after the match? I feel like I am in bizzaro world with this match. Mind Blowingly Dumb Booking.

- Dolph Ziggler continues his ride on the jobber train with a lame DQ win over Seth Rollins. Um...not for nothing but before the match was announced, the entire Authority came out to confront Ziggler and to try and CONVINCE HIM to join Team Authority. Triple H then proceeded to sing all sorts of praises for Ziggler. This would be an extremely useful angle and believable if DOLPH ZIGGLER EVER WON A F*CKING MATCH. This is the same Ziggler who legit just got over an 8 television match losing streak. Why are we supposed to believe he is such an asset when you book him to be a jobber with a belt? If I were Triple H, I would be encouraging Ziggler to be on Cena’s team. He is an easy elimination if you go by his television performances!!!

- By the way, 100% chance that HHH was speaking in code when he said that “something always gets in the way” of Ziggler every time he starts to rise to the top. I am sure that was a shoot disguised as a worked comment.

- The MATCH ITSELF wasn’t the type of quality you’d expect from them but Orton running in and laying out Rollins with an RKO OUTTANOWHERE was awesome and becoming a running gag. I like it. Although it is doing nothing but position Orton as a full-fledged face. It also didn’t help HHH’s argument from before the match since Rollins essentially destroyed him before curb stomping him into oblivion until the run in. BTW, Orton’s run in causes the DQ thus Ziggler loses again. Just saying.

- BTW, Orton is not scheduled for any future RAW’s between now and Survivor Series hence the show closing angle and he was actually removed by WWE from Survivor Series local ads over the weekend which is extremely odd since this RAW focused on him and Rollins competing over control of Team Authority at the PPV and more so because the PPV is IN ST. LOUIS, HIS HOMETOWN!!!!!!

- Two weeks in a row where Orton cuts a fiery promo breaking away from his slow, monotone promos. Last week I complained, this week it is growing on me.

- Who was the PROMO WITH THE EYES about? I assumed the Ascension but I am hearing others speculate Luke Harper. Anyone know? Guesses?

- More Insanity, YAY!!!! Last week Ryback randomly was a babyface and crushed his opponent to the crowd’s delight. How does WWE follow that up? By having Ryback have a back and forth COMPETITIVE MATCH with perennial jobber Titus O’Neal!!!!

- PS – I honestly think WWE is going to try and make us forget about the last year when Ryback was a mid-card/opening card heel/jobber and pretend he is a main event talent again. He is likely going to be Team Cena at Survivor Series.

- Insanity Segment Alert: What in the blue hell was up with Big Show’s teary eyed promo about wanting his friend Mark Henry back? That was incredibly lame and a bit homosexual. He misses his friend. What?

- And as you can see, creative is in panic mode doing things the completely rushed way because they don’t know where they are going with angles. BIG SHOW VS. MARK HENRY on RAW rather than at Survivor Series? Weird. Then end it in a DQ? Worse than weird.

- So that Erik Rowan SEGMENT huh?

- Definitely not enough Brie/Nikki skits with Brie being her assistant. I am thoroughly disappointed as WWE is failing to capitalize on a bunch of potentially entertaining skits.

- Wait... “ A NEW DAY IS COMING”???? Xavier Woods??? Is WWE finally going to debut Woods/Big E/Kofi as a trio? This angle started IN JULY!!!!!

- And WWE is going to call them “The New Day” instead of those lame names I heard about a few months back liek "Speed Force" or "Athletic Friends". Good.

- Zack Ryder tweeted to John Cena that he is ready if Cena needs him to be on his team at Survivor Series. WWE actually showed the tweet on RAW. WWE is oblivious to the fact that Ryder 100% did that on his own to troll the internet and WWE fell for it likely thinking that Ryder did it in storyline per the creative team’s wishes. Anyway, Ryder was on Raw and he GOT KILLED by Rusev. You know, the same Rusev who is getting a US title match LIVE on the Network following RAW. SMH.

- Mark this down, save this column. If Rusev is on Team Authority at the PPV and Team Authority is booked to lose, then I GUARAN-F*CKING-TEE that Rusev gets eliminated by DQ. If they win, Rusev will be a survivor.

- MORE INSANITY!!! Los Matadores DEFEATED the WWE Tag Team Champions in a non-title match on RAW. How are Los Matadores rewarded for their big win? They are rewarded by The Usos getting a tag team title match on Smackdown tonight in a steel cage!!!!! Read that sentence again because you might be confused by what I wrote. THE F*CKING USOS are getting a title shot tonight even though Los Matadores PINNED the champs cleanly.

- And finally, for the 186 consecutive WWE show in a row, a combination of John Cena/Dean Ambrose/Randy Orton/Kane/Seth Rollins main events a show. At least we FINALLY GOT A CLEAN FINISH in the main event rather than a DQ. It was a solid match and Orton seemed motivated even though he has made it clear backstage that he doesn’t want to be a babyface. Rollins with the clean victory using a backslide? Someone was watching Flair vs. Steamboat matches on the Network this week.

- The POST MATCH ANGLE was good stuff. Orton nailing HHH with a forearm was good and I assume that even though he is supposed to be on Team Authority, he is now a babyface since he was laid out by Rollins, Kane, Mercury, Noble and a hesitant HHH who only joined in at Stephanie’s request. The running angle is that Orton is “injured” and he is not expected to be at Survivor Series.

-Matt Dawgs  
        

Questions, Corrections, Comments, Feedback or Ideas: Dawgs@wewantinsanity.com 

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Vince is here! Monday Night Raw Recap

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New stakes for Survivor Series! If Team Authority loses to Team Cena, they lose their power. Much remains unsettled as Vince McMahon makes a rare TV appearance Monday night in Buffalo. What does this mean exactly? Will Stephanie and Hunter lose their jobs completely? Will whoever takes over be pro Cena? Is Vince a temporary fix to a much bigger problem? 

The Authority has taken over in a great way. I almost forget that anything else is going on in the show. I like that Ziggler is getting lots of attention even if he has to lose to Rollins. Creepy Bray Wyatt watches Ambrose from the stage. "Feed Me More" chants fill the arena for Ryback. Jimmy Uso doesn't stand a chance against The Miz. Nikki and Brie are such disappointments. I wish they would get a little more creative with this story line. 

The Condemned 2 has The Viper taking a break from the ring as he waits to be "medically cleared." A curb-stomp from Rollins leaves Orton with a bloody forehead and an exit via stretcher. It's very possible that he may even miss Survivor Series. Monday was Orton's last scheduled day as he is not booked for the European tour.  

-Loveblump

WWE Monday Night Raw, Kansas City Recap: No Place to Run, No Place to Hide. The Cell Is No Ordinary Scenario.

Image Credit: wwe.com

Mick Foley returns to Monday Night Raw to visit an old friend, the steel structure, and to share some advice with the ex-members of The Sheild. Apparently, everyone had something to say last night. There wasn't much wrestling happening. If you blinked, you would have missed a match or two. Not that I'm complaining. I'd rather listen to Paul Heyman than have to watch a longer, boring Diva's match. 

We were doing so well not mentioning Brock Lesnar the last couple weeks. As Hunter gives his pep talk for Hell in a Cell, he announces the winner of Cena's Orton will take on Lesnar for the World Heavy Weight Title. He also promises the PPV will be a good show. "Being in the cell changes your life. Make The Authority proud." Heyman comes out a little later to interrupt a scuffle between Superstars. Cena threatens Heyman with an Attitude Adjustment, then chickens out. Orton delivers an RKO to both men leaving them out cold. 

Raw's main event was a 3 on 2 handicap street fight which ended in the steel cage. Chairs, tables, kendo sticks, even the cage became a weapon. Orton hits Ambrose with an RKO for the win just to endure a curb stomp from his friend, Seth Rollins. 

I couldn't believe my eyes as Foley waddles down the ramp. Seeing that beard in the ring gave me goosebumps. Foley returns to Raw to educate these naive rivals!!! Rollins and Ambrose are not ready for Hell in a Cell. Somebody is going to get seriously injured! You don't win in the cage, you survive the cage. 

"The scars you will not heal from, the scars that will haunt you for a lifetime are the emotional wounds that will not heal." 

HAVE A NICE DAY!

-Loveblump

Twitter: @LoveBlump

TGIF with Matt Dawgs: Jabronidust, Cena's Backhanded Compliment, Total Stopped Action,and More

Image Credit: wwe.com

WWE NEWS AND NOTES:

- Raw has been AWFUL of late. Honestly, I am so sick and tired of the same sh*t week in and week out. It is driving me insane. Every week it is the Authority/Rollins/Orton/Kane vs. Ambrose/Cena. It has become so redundant with the week in and week out in some way, shape or form. UGH. The only saving grace is the fact that Dean Ambrose is getting over like gangbusters and I hope that the powers that be realize this and continue to push him even after Roman Reigns comes back. They have a major star with Ambrose and I am praying that they do not cut off their nose to spit their face with him.
- Ambrose’s promo skills are so unique and entertaining. From channeling Rowdy Roddy Piper and Randy Savage, he brings something different that only Bray Wyatt brings. It is refreshing to hear the difference in their promos than everyone else on the roster. Maybe that is why they stand out from everyone else and have broken out of the pack.
- I know I sound like a broken record but what exactly is the point again of sacrificing the tag team champions to Dean Ambrose and John Cena? Goldust and Stardust were made to look like COMPLETE JABRONIES the way they lost when in fact if you didn’t want Cena and Ambrose to lose, you could have went in a hundred different directions. Having The Authority come out and distract them? Have the Usos get the win? Have Cena cost Ambrose the win and Ambrose gets pinned or vice versa? Have Cena and Ambrose get into a fight (which in fact would have played into Stephanie and HHH’s bet), or the best suggestion, NOT BOOK THEM VS. THE TAG CHAMPS TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!!
- Sigh. So A.J. last week said that she doesn’t have any friends and none of the other divas like her but she is OK with that. So she teams with Layla this week because she dislikes Layla the least vs. Paige and Alicia Fox. BTW, what happened to Fox’s crazy gimmick from a few months ago? I digress. Anyway, Layla bails on A.J. when she goes to make a tag leaving her to fend for herself. She then wins in a handicap match anyway. What was the point of doing the ANGLE then if it wasn’t going to result in the finish?
- A.J. and a partner of her choosing vs. Paige and Alicia Fox is happening next Monday on RAW. Why? She already beat them in a handicap match? I am only ok with this if it leads to someone debuting or returning like Tamina Snuka.
- Just how far does WWE go to protect John Cena? When Randy Orton was asking HHH/Steph for his match vs. the loser of the main event of RAW, WWE scripted Orton, HHH and Stephanie to make sure that none of them used the term “loser” and instead Orton said, “The Other Guy”. Read that again. Orton specifically said that whoever wins between Cena and Ambrose tonight, he wanted “the other guy”. On Smackdown, the match was promoted as the main event of the show (it isn’t). This is the 9^th time that Cena vs. Orton has taken place on a WWE PPV in a singles match and their 2^nd Hell in a Cell match as Orton won the first in 2009.
- So now both Luke Harper and Eric Rowan ARE FREE from Bray Wyatt. I am ok with this. I just hope they don’t get too greatly repackaged.
- Orton and Ziggler was the lone, in-ring bright spot of RAW. It was a very good match with an excellent finish. That RKO was INCREDIBLE.
- If you haven’t caught it yet, they have constantly been teasing for weeks now that Orton is going to turn face on Rollins and the Authority.
- Rollins vs. Swagger WAS OK. Swagger is stuck in such a rut now. He was gaining steam during his feud with Rusev but once it ended, he has been going nowhere.
- Lana is AWESOME. Not just hot as she is, but she is great in her role. I am worried that when the inevitable break up on television occurs, she is going to be stuck doing nothing of importance since she isn’t a good wrestler.

- See more here. http://www.wewantinsanity.com/am2/publish/Dawgs/T_G_I_F_with_Matt_Dawgs_101714.shtml#sthash.rQg9RQoF.dpuf

WWE: Hell Starts Early! Monday Night Raw Recap

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Just two weeks away, in Dallas, the steel cage will be lowered. You'd never guess that if it wasn't for Ambrose vs Cena. So close to a PPV and no one even mentions it. There's only one Raw left to build up to Hell in a Cell and WWE is wasting time on a mediocreshow. Who the hell is NeNe Leakes? Why do they keep bringing these nobodies out. Jake The Snake was backstage! It infuriates me that a talentless housewife takes precedence over a legend. 

One of the big matches from last night just happen to star the Big Show. Hisfued with Rusev seemed to hit a high point last week when the Rock came out to lay the smack down. This week Mark Henry interferes. Rusev wins by disqualification.

Almost the entire show was about Seth Rollins.The Triple Threat match between tag teams The Usos, Dust Bros. and Cena/Ambrose was ordered by The Authority. Orton vs Ziggler, Rollins looks on from ringside, waiting to curb stompZiggler. Rollins pins Jack Swagger right before Ortons runs in with an RKO to one up Rollins. And the main event, A No Holds Barred Contract on a Pole Match, Ambrose defeats Cena. While we're stuck with another Orton vs Cena, Ambrose gets his shot at Rollins at Hell in a Cell. 

Lets all pray that the rumors are true and we get some Hulk Hogan next week. 

-Loveblump

TGIF with Matt Dawgs: The Lunatic Rattlesnake, Ziggler Loses The IC Title To An Airline, CM-TNA-LOL, The Rock vs. wHHHo? at Mania and More

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WWE NEWS AND NOTES:

- FINALLY.... THE ROCK RETURNS TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW. And that was virtually the only thing of note that took place on Monday because otherwise WWE has been a complete and utter rut lately with their writing as of late. God awful.

- Before anyone starts in, in NO WAY was that a burial of Rusev. Rusev was sucker punched and tossed from the ring. He was not hit with Rock’s finisher or a “People’s Elbow”. He landed on his feet and was held back by Lana. He was put over in the promo by Rock and looked strong and got some rub. It was a good segment.

- I have legit lost count of how many consecutive weeks/shows that we have gotten a main event involving some combination of Ambrose/Cena vs. Orton/Rollins/Kane. It has to be every single show for the past 3 months now no?

- If not, it is at least almost as many times as we have seen some sort of match involving the Usos vs. The Dust Brothers. I felt like it was groundhog day during the first half hour of RAW since it was the same stuff we have seen week in and week out on both RAW and Smackdown.

- I AM A LEMON and so are the fans in Brooklyn as Adam Rose got ZERO REACTION when he and his gang danced to the ring with Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb. Speaking of, that had to be the worst segment in RAW history right? It was at least on par with Katie Vick. I almost wished breast cancer on them for putting me through that.

- SIDE NOTE: Thea Trinidad was back as a Rosebud as was Mandy Leon from Ring of Honor. They both need to be hired full time. Damien Darling best known for being WWE Hall of Famer’s Sunny’s ex-boyfriend who she has went to jail over numerous times was also a Rosebud.

- Intrigued by where they are going with Harper and Rowan. These vignettes are excellent.

- I STILL BO-LIEVE!!!! Although that finish had me cringing as the timing was way off. LOL. Poor Mark Henry had to stand around like a dope while the referee was slow counting. Henry needs to be a top level heel already. He is better off in that role so they need to hurry with the turn.

Image Credit: wwe.com

- Dean Ambrose as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin v2.0 is catching on. The fans get it and are into it. And before you get on WWE writing for having Ambrose not get the better of everyone week in and week out, neither did Austin before he became World Champion. When he just started to catch fire as a babyface after Mania 13, he was a tweener still and got his ass handed to him a bunch of times by people like Bret Hart and the Undertaker from week to week including being left lying in the ring.

- Of course the polar opposite of Dean Ambrose is Brie Bella who is supposed to be the hot babyface that fans wouldn’t piss on if she was on fire. They totally do not give two sh*ts about her. They do dig the “YES” chants though.

- I enjoy the fact that they are at least covering all bases when it comes to the Natalya/Tyson Kidd angle since it is spanning NXT, RAW, Smackdown and Total Divas.

- So let’s get this clear for a second. WWE hypes last week that Roman Reigns will talk on RAW. Then, even though Roman Reigns was in NY earlier in the day at an autograph signing and even though he was backstage at RAW, they do a “taped” segment with him? What is even better is that he was told late last week that it would be an in person, in the ring interview and he said so earlier in the day when doing media interviews hyping RAW. So no one told him. Plus, like I said for weeks now, maybe even months, ....

- See more on the Matt Dawgs column of WeWantInsanity.com at: http://www.wewantinsanity.com/am2/publish/Dawgs/T_G_I_F_with_Matt_Dawgs_101014.shtml

Know your role! The Rock returns. Monday Night Raw Recap

Image Credit: www.wwe.com

John Cena and my favorite lunatic, Dean Ambrose, were supposed to have a 3 on 2 handicap match as the main event this evening. Ambrose deciding he'd rather go grab a hot dog at Nathan's. Good choice. Cena is so obsessed with Rollins, let him take care of that. 

I can't believe they made Big Show apologize on Smackdown. With all the disrespectful things Lana gets away with saying about America, you'd think that Soviet streetwalker would get sent to "sensitivity training." This really irks me. Rusev isn't even Russian! 

A lot of things bothered me about Raw tonight. Who let Tyson Kidd back in the ring? He's lucky he's married to a Hart. I don't even want to get into the Kathy Lee and Hoda bit. WWE heard us all bitching about that and sent us THE ROCK! After a little flirting with Lana, The Rock interrupts Rusev to send him to the Smackdown Hotel. 

I'll be dreaming of a mustard covered Orton tonight. Thank you, Ambrose. A boring 3 on 1 beat down turned into my greatest fantasy. Condiment covered beef cakes. Hunter announces Cena vs Ambrose, winner takes on Rollins inside the steel structure at Hell in the Cell. Can't wait! 

-Loveblump

TGIF with Matt Dawgs: Finally The Rock Has Come Back To Baywatch,Stephanie vs. Quitters, and More

T.G.I.F. with Matt Dawgs: #272

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Good day to you all and welcome to We Want Insanity. I am your host for today, Matt Dawgs and this is my column. Today is the end of the work week and the time to look back at all the goings-on over the past seven days as I wrap it up with a bow and spout it out bit by bit. Buckle up. As previously noted, you can catch my OTHER COLUMN which is the “ WWE NETWORK PPV OF THE WEEK ” where I and 3 friends discussed an old WWE/WCW/ECW PPV from the archives. Join us THIS SUNDAY as we review WWE “King of the Ring 2002” and check it out to see if it is worth watching. Also check out this week’s “ THE QUESTION ” where James Guttman, James Bullock (why do we have two James writing for the site? We need to change his name to Mitchell or something) and myself answer a random question each week.
MATT NOTE: If this isn’t a sign that the world is ending, please note that George Clooney was married last weekend. WTF?
BONUS MATT NOTE: Derek Jeter is retired and with retirement, has started a WEBSITE to communicate with fans without a filter.
WWE NEWS AND NOTES:
- Another week gone and another lackluster and without effort RAW in the bag. Honestly, how many main events in a row are we going to get a DQ finish? Plus, always involving the same cast of characters to boot? How many combinations of Cena/Ambrose/Kane/Orton/Rollins matches are we going to see?
- 1,000% Chance that Stephanie had that speech planned in advance calling the fans of Chicago a bunch of losers for chanting for a quitter when they broke out in a CM Punk chant.
- STEPHANIE MCMAHON (after the crowd chants for CM Punk): “Why do these people cheer for quitters? Because they can relate to them. They’re quitters themselves. They’d rather quit when life gets tough instead of digging in and fighting for what you believe in. Instead, you just give up. Things get hard. You quit. Get in an argument with your wife, you quit your family. You either quit or you steal.”
- I enjoyed the Paul Heyman/Seth Rollins INTERACTION and apology from Rollins. Good heel logic used in this segment.
- Dean Ambrose was the star of the show from beginning to end. His unpredictability and “Loose Cannon-ness” is a breath of fresh air.
- I with Dolph Ziggler would get a serious push. I know he is IC champ and WINNING MATCHES more frequently but I can only imagine this is short term and he will be buried again. Sad but trye.
- POOR DAMIEN SANDOW. Don’t get me wrong, playing Miz v2.0 is hilarious and he is great at it. But it has no shelf life. He is officially typecast as a comedy prelim/mid-card act and it is going to be super difficult for him to break that stigma if WWE ever decides to push him seriously. Incredible because he was RED HOT when he had the MITB briefcase and almost beat Cena for the title on RAW last year.
- HHH having Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his stooges is fantastic. Plus the fact that they are still young enough to bump around and eventually have a match if need be is a HUGE plus considering when Vince McMahon had Patterson and Brisco as his stooges, they were limited in what they could do in a storyline.
- By the way, if you had any doubt that Miz and Sandow are a prelim comedy act ....
- See more here.

WWE Monday Night Raw Recap; Monday September 29th, 2014

Image Credit: www.wwe.com

Monday night Raw was live from Chicago. Home of my favorite wrestlers, CM PUNK and Colt Cabana. As much as I loved the PUNK chants, seeing the people from OneHourTees with the giant Colt Cabana head ringside made my night. It was almost as good as the real thing. 

There's not much I can complain about this week. It was a solid show full of some of the best one liners I've ever heard on Raw. "You wouldn't understand cause you're ugly!" from the The Miz has to be my favorite. The Big Show screaming at Rusev, "WE DON'TSPEAK RUSSIAN!" and Goldust with "Science-fact" are a close second. 

Hulk Hogan made a special appearance for breast cancer awareness. I'm glad they're putting him on TV. He deserves to make back some of the money he lost to his cunt of an ex-wife. Bring him on every week! Better yet, throw out JBL and make Hogan a permanent commentator, Brother. 

Why is everyone complaining about Orton vs Cena? First off, its Cena and Ambrose vs Orton and Rollings. Secondly, this is fucking amazing! Never in a million years would I have thought I'd see Cena get curb stomped! They're really beating the shit of this guy. Brock had his chance now it's time for The Authority to finish him. Highly unlikely but it's worth a shot. 

-Loveblump

Twitter: @LoveBlump