Monday Night Raw Recap; Plus Curb Stomp Banned? Extreme Rules will SUCK!

Extreme Rules is happening this weekend from Chicago! After 2 weeks of terrible Raws, WWE will turn over an even worse PPV. Randy Orton promised to RKO the entire roster including "the undistruped future" since his finisher is banned on Sunday. Also, Ryback attacked a giant hot dog. That's all that happened this week. 

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Raw was a total disappointment and to top it off Daniel Bryan is still out. "Bryan is undergoing diagnostic testing to see if he can defend his title at Extreme Rules." I wish he would stop pretending to be a 60 year old yoga instructor and remember that hes a professional wrestler. Herbs and magic will not cure your injuries. I hope this isn't a repeat if last year. 

Rumors of The Curb Stomp being banned surfaced when Rollins used a new finisher on Ziggler Monday Night. Why is there a russian chain match when WWE doesnt allow choking? Is Rusev gunna go all 50 shades and whip Cena?! The WWE has not addressed the issue and no one knows for sure if stomping a man's face into the mat is actually banned completely. I say we keep the Curb Stomp and have Orton bring back the Punt. 

-Loveblump

Lesnar Destroys Ringside Staff, Sting Talks Mania, and NXT Stars Debut

Stephanie can sleep a little better at night knowing Brock won't be taking out her roster/crew anytime soon. Brock Lesnar is suspended indefinitely for going ape shit and attacking everyone he could get his hands on. After Rollins backs out of their rematch and barely escapes the ring, Brock takes out J&J Security and Michael Cole with an F5. 

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Stephanie runs to the ring to save an innocent camera man but she's too late. F5's for everyone! Meanwhile, JBL and Booker lay lifeless under a demolished announcers table. This is what wrestling should look like. 

I'm glad WWE has finally come up with a good enough storyline to explain why Brock is never around. Steph does a great job treating him like a bad puppy that won't stop pissing on the carpet. There's no doubt about Brock being a great competitor but you can tell he doesn't want any part of this. Send him back to UFC. I've called this for months. Rollins needed a devious plan to snatch the belt off The Beast and Mania was the perfect place to do it.

As for the rest of Raw, it was an OK show. Not a word about Undertaker but Sting gets to come out and talk about losing. The Diva's are finally getting some time in the ring. Neville and Kalisto debut. Shemus returns with a fucked up mohawk. And we get a chance to watch the same matches we will see repeated for the rest of the month.

-Loveblump

Seth Rollins Leaves Wrestlemania a Champion While Ronda Rousey Takes Down The Authority

Like many people, I was shocked at how good Wrestlemania 31 was. 76,976 people filling up Levi's Stadium took fifth for the all time record for Mania attendees. So much awesome-ness in one show I don't know where to start so here's a re-cap of the night. 

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Pre-show

Andre the Giant Battle Royal: Big Show

Fatal 4 way Tag Match: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro

Main Card

Intercontinental Championship: Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton defeats Seth Rollins

No Disqualification: Triple H

AJ Lee and Paige defeat The Bella Twins

United States Championship: Cena

Undertaker defeats Bray Wyatt

Main Event

World Heavy-weight Championship: Seth Rollins

You read that right, the guy with his dick on the internet is the WWE Heavy-weight Champion. He may not have pinned Brock but he gave Reigns the Curb Stomp of his life for the win. Speaking of Curb Stomps, the match between Rollins and Orton was my favorite of the night, after Taker, of course. Randy Orton pops out of a Curb Stomp throwing Rollins in the air with just his head. I could watch it over and over. The old men get a little help from their friends when The nWo and DX make their way to the ring half way through the match. Definitely something to check out if you didn't catch the PPV. Might as well skip the Cena match. It was long and boring and pissed me off from the beginning. Why did Rusev come out in a tank? 

I had a good time watching Wrestlemania this year. WWE really stepped up their game. Giving us something to look forward to The Rock has teamed up with Ronda Rousey to take on The Authority. After Stephanie insults Rock with a slap in the face, he searches the crowd for a familiar face. I don't watch UFC but I recognized the name. Ronda was ready to go right then and there taking out Hunter with a judo throw. She looks like she will own the WWE ring for sure. 

Nothing made me happier than watching The Deadman kick ass. He looked great out there, off the top rope, out of the ring, in the ring. It was magic. Wyatt should have known better than to try to raise hell. Hell will destroy you. 

-Loveblump

Raw Recap, and a Look at Wrestlemania; The Most Wonderful Time of Year!

Besides being the #1 pay-per-view, Wrestlemania is my favorite PPV for many reasons. First off, it's usually on, or very close, to my birthday! Second, it's the only time of year we get to talk about The Undertaker. Hall of Fame, celebrity guests, and for one weekend out of the year I can showcase how sincerely crazy I am about wrestling to the general public. How could you not love Wrestlemania? It is "The Grandest Stage of Them All." 

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Wrestling aside, I think WWE is trying to tell us something about weed. Brainwashing the children into thinking smoking bud is one thing. For the second week in a row, one of the biggest celebrity stoners graced our television screens. I feel like there's more behind this than coincidence. Is Vince telling us to support the legalization of weed? I sure hope so. 

My favorite part of Monday night was Stephanie and Sting. He brings something back from the good days of wrestling. Makes you wanna sit and watch the whole show. Stephanie's so good! Slapping Sting and creeping up with the sledge hammer for her man. Trips walking out to Terminator music. Definitely a great way to open the show. I am truly excited for his first match ever in a WWE ring. HISTORY IN THE MAKING! I can not wait for Sunday!

-Loveblump

WWE Raw Recap: Wiz Rocks a Cena Shirt and Randy Orton Rocks My world

World's collide when hip hop super star Wiz Khalifa comes out for Monday Night Raw live from Pittsburgh, PA. While the rest of the universe is talking shit, I was bursting at the seems with excitement. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Heyman was gold, #Wizdow was trending worldwide, Bray and Taker has me at the edge of my seat, and the main event was probably one of the best I've seen this year. 

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Did Vince know what he was getting into when he signed off on Wiz? Controversial tweets from the stoner rapper may be considered bad press for a family friendly show. "Ever perform a song for the first time in front of millions? Ever perform a song for the first time in front of million ON WEED!" Keep it classy, Wiz. 

To add to the controversy, Randy Orton stole the show(and my heart) when he turned on The Authority and flipped 'em the bird. I don't know why this isn't making a bigger splash around the wrestling community. Granted, this isn't a first for the Viper and the split from the Authority was predictable, Orton blew my mind with his performance. They are expected to face each other at Wrestlemania later this month. 

-Loveblump    

Back! WWE Monday Night Raw Recap; Cena Appreciation Day!

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Last week, Daniel Bryan surprised us by revealing his Royal Rumble return! YES! YES! YES! This week we witness the return of The Authority. The first order of business was to announce Seth Rollins' chance at Brock's belt at Royal Rumble. Next, a show of gratitude, naming Monday, January 5, 2015, "John Cena Appreciation Day." If you thought this was going to end well for Team Cena, you'd be saddly mistaken. 

Not only did they feel the wrath of The Authority during their matches, each member of Team Cena was fired at the end of the night. Kane's interuption during the night's first match indicated that Ziggler is a target of The Authority's bullying. J&J Security teamed up in the refs spot to make sure Eric Rowan went down. It took 2 opponents and 2 curb stomps to take The Big Guy down. Seeing as Ryback betrayed The Authority by switching teams, I was expecting him to go through hell on Monday. Leave with a bang. 

The main event needed more blood. I know its only Raw but it was the first ever Ambulance Match. Both men flew off the top of the rig to landing on his opponent below. But that was it. The match was boring and dragged out. Bray Wyatt threw Ambrose in the back of the ambulence and the match was over. 

-Loveblump

Raw is Jericho, SuperSmackDown, Tribute to the Troops and more

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What a start to WWE week! Following TLC, Monday Night Raw opened to this week's GM, Y2J, announcing the night's 2 HUGE main events. A fan picked street fight with none other than Jericho, himself, and big mouthed Paul Heyman. Followed by rematch of Cena vs Rollins in a steel cage. The street fight couldn't even start before Brock Lesnar laid Jericho out with an F-5. No one expected any physical activity from Heyman. He may have put on some ring gear but that wasn't fooling anyone. I guess Brock feels the need to make up for lost time because he comes out during the steel cage match to remind Cena what he's in for at the Royal Rumble. Rollins hit Cena with a Curb Stomp and exits the cage.

USA Network switched up our regular schedules with a SuperSmackDown Live on Tuesday night. Raw gave us a taste of Roman Reigns but SmackDown showed Fandango what Reigns was really capable of doing. Rowan flies off the top to win the 6 man tag. The Ascension's vignette left me so confused. Did The Road Warriors find the fountain of youth? I don't know who has an easier job, Nikki or Kane. Ziggler nails a Zig-Zag for the win. That's what Rollins gets for talking too much. 

The 12th annual Tribute to the Troops airs tonight at 8pm. Promised to be the most patriotic and heart-warming show of the holiday season, WWE brings together the best of sports entertainment and pop culture. The Tribute will chronicle the Superstar's 2 day trip to Fort Benning, a performance by multi-platinum recording artists, Florida Georgia Line, special messages from a long list of celebrities, and I'm sure a few mediocre matches for good measure. 

-Loveblump

Contract Signing and Grumpy Cat; Monday Night Raw Recap

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Heading into Survivor Series, "Team Cena" has The Authority on their toes. The fate of WWE lies in their hands after all. Stephanie tries every trick in the book to change Ryback's mind. He declares he is only playing for one team and that's Team Ryback. Threats of deportation couldn't sway Shemus. Bribes of Hall of Fame induction did nothing to persuade Big Show to switch teams. Ziggler comes out looking better than ever for his match against Luke Harper. The match doesn't even start before it's interfered by The Goons. Rollins has a lot to say on commentary. Harper defeats Ziggler by pin fall for the Intercontinental Championship. Mark Henry took Shemus out with a World's Strongest Slam. Big Show and Ziggler are both injured. The Authority wants to wear out Team Cena so there is nothing left of them. There's very little Cena can do but pray to take The Authority out of power. 

A confrontation between Ambrose and Wyatt gave us a taste of what we're in for Sunday night. Despite what Bray has to say about The Lunatic, he does not need saving. Dean Ambrose, "the most dangerous man in the world," because he can't love? Give me a break. He's dangerous because he's smart. I don't know which one of us is more excited that he finally gets his hands on Wyatt. 

As I predicted, Grumpy Cat was the best part of Raw. By far the best celebrity guest this year (besides Foley). Miz was great. That kiss good-bye made my heart skip a beat. Even Erick Rowan wants the cat! She is too cute. Next week Larry the Cable Guy graces our television screens with his presence. Why aren't the guests wrestling anymore? When Snooki came on she looked great in the ring. Bring her back! These celebrities are getting away with doing nothing and it sucks for the fans. 

Hunter makes a very valid point during the contract signing. The future of his family depends on this company. They have more to lose than anyone else. They are going to make sure they win this match. Cena searches the crowd for a new team. He promises the King and Queen will watch their team fall. Team Cena gets a few new members Erick Rowan, Cesaro, and Ryback and sends Hunter through a table to close the show.

-Loveblump

Monday Night Raw Recap: LIVE from Liverpool England!

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Live from Liverpool, England! It's like they didn't know what to do with this show so they broke down Survivor Series into seperate matches. The stories sucked as much as the wrestling. I know acting isn't a prority in the WWE Universe but it's was unbelieveable bad last night for some reason. Honestly, I'm more excited about Grumpy Cat next Monday than anything else. I wonder what they'll have him do...

There wasn't much I enjoyed about Raw this week. I did like when Nikki bugged out after Brie lost. She went ape-shit and laid AJ out with a Rack Attack. I would be scared if I was Brie. She may only have a few more days as personal assistant but Nikki is just getting starting. 

Its all about what the Authority wants and they want to win! With a captain like Seth Rollins leading a team of giants, Kane, Rusev, and Mark Henry, The Authority seems unbeatable. Cena better start praying for a miracle. Even with Big Show and Sheamus joining Team Cena, I don't seeing it ending well for them. If tonight's main event is any indication of what will happen in 2 weeks, Good Luck Cena. 

Does anyone know what happened in those last five minutes? Ryback quit Team Authority but did he join Team Cena? Luke Harper delivered a half dead Ziggler to Stephanie's feet. Does that mean he's part of the team now? Is Ziggler out for good? This is supposed to leave you wanting more, biting your nails til next Monday. I just feel jipped. 

-Loveblump 

WWE: Hell In A Cell & Monday Night Raw Recap

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Hell was as hot (more like lukewarm) as expected. Cena is once again the No. 1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Sister Abigail interrupts Ambrose allowing Rollins to get the win. The Dust Bros. continue to dominate. In less important news, Brie lost and must obey Nikki's every wish as personal assistant. AJ defeated Paige by submission and Rusev won again. Boo. Hiss. 

Regardless of the struggle to get excited watching Cena/Orton face off, both men really gave it their all for a solid match. Cena winning and Ambrose fueding with Bray Wyatt set the stage for Rollins vs Orton. With three new fueds right there, the Raws leading up to Survivor Series will be worth a watch, right?

Not much going on Monday night. Raw was a mediocre opening, lots of filler, with a good close. WWE wasted the perfect opportunity to advance some more story lines. Hogan stopped by to pose in pink. After meeting him this weekend, I've realized that may be the only thing left that he's good at. Ryback returns. Mark Henry looks so sad as a heel. I wanna give him a hug. Three World's Strongest Slams laid out Big Show and started a long awaited turn. 

The RKO Rollins took at the start of the show is what everyone seems to be talking about. Like you didn't see that coming. It's still the Rollins Show and everyone wants a piece of him. Orton is no exception. Ambrose has Bray Wyatt to worry about now. This fued is full of crazy and I'm excited to watch it pan out. Monday's main event was a Cena vs Rollins match that turned into the entire locker room vs Cena and Ziggler. In the end, Cena is the last man standing in the ring.

-Loveblump

WWE Monday Night Raw, Kansas City Recap: No Place to Run, No Place to Hide. The Cell Is No Ordinary Scenario.

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Mick Foley returns to Monday Night Raw to visit an old friend, the steel structure, and to share some advice with the ex-members of The Sheild. Apparently, everyone had something to say last night. There wasn't much wrestling happening. If you blinked, you would have missed a match or two. Not that I'm complaining. I'd rather listen to Paul Heyman than have to watch a longer, boring Diva's match. 

We were doing so well not mentioning Brock Lesnar the last couple weeks. As Hunter gives his pep talk for Hell in a Cell, he announces the winner of Cena's Orton will take on Lesnar for the World Heavy Weight Title. He also promises the PPV will be a good show. "Being in the cell changes your life. Make The Authority proud." Heyman comes out a little later to interrupt a scuffle between Superstars. Cena threatens Heyman with an Attitude Adjustment, then chickens out. Orton delivers an RKO to both men leaving them out cold. 

Raw's main event was a 3 on 2 handicap street fight which ended in the steel cage. Chairs, tables, kendo sticks, even the cage became a weapon. Orton hits Ambrose with an RKO for the win just to endure a curb stomp from his friend, Seth Rollins. 

I couldn't believe my eyes as Foley waddles down the ramp. Seeing that beard in the ring gave me goosebumps. Foley returns to Raw to educate these naive rivals!!! Rollins and Ambrose are not ready for Hell in a Cell. Somebody is going to get seriously injured! You don't win in the cage, you survive the cage. 

"The scars you will not heal from, the scars that will haunt you for a lifetime are the emotional wounds that will not heal." 

HAVE A NICE DAY!

-Loveblump

Twitter: @LoveBlump