WWE Monday Night Raw Recap: The GM Blows Our Cyber Monday Night Raw

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Raw opens with announcements from the new "Anonymous Raw General Manager." I would've loved to see John Cena toss that laptop across the ring but like a gentleman, he closes it softly and cuts him promo. The night takes a turn for the worst as Rollins and what's left of The Authority, send Cena through a table....but not before the rest of Team Cena gets their asses handed to them. The GM reveals that the shot at the Heavyweight Title is on the line at TLC in two weeks. If Cena's not careful, we could have a Rollins vs Brock match in a few months. 

Tag-team Turmoil looked more like a walk in the park for The Usos. After The New Day eliminated The Dust Brothers and Tyson Kidd pinned Kofi, The Usos attack Cesaro and don't even break a sweat taking out Adam Rose. The Usos have nothing to worry about in the ring. Their real problem is The Miz. Jimmy goes nuts after The Miz gets a little flirty complementing Noami's twerking in her new music video, "Dance All Night." He comes out and knocks The Miz right off his feet. I can't wait to see these two in the ring at the PPV. 

Vince was in the building to remind us about his Stone Cold interview on the WWE Network. They try to convince us Big Show is a bully. Fandango vs Swagger turns into Swagger vs Rusev. Ambrose kills Bray Wyatt's rocking chair. Paul Heyman compares Brock Lesnar to Christmas and the 6 man main event let Team Babyface get even for the beat down in the beginning of the show. 

If you weren't paying attention, you would have missed my favorite part of Raw. Saint Mick debuts with Noelle Foley. I try really hard to not to be a pervert so I won't throw in a Mr. Socko joke but Mankind's daughter is smoking hot! Follow her on twitter @NoelleFoley.

Next week Seth Green hosts the Slammys in Greenville, South Carolina. If you have the WWE app, don't forget to vote! 

-Loveblump

WWE Monday Night Raw, Kansas City Recap: No Place to Run, No Place to Hide. The Cell Is No Ordinary Scenario.

Image Credit: wwe.com

Mick Foley returns to Monday Night Raw to visit an old friend, the steel structure, and to share some advice with the ex-members of The Sheild. Apparently, everyone had something to say last night. There wasn't much wrestling happening. If you blinked, you would have missed a match or two. Not that I'm complaining. I'd rather listen to Paul Heyman than have to watch a longer, boring Diva's match. 

We were doing so well not mentioning Brock Lesnar the last couple weeks. As Hunter gives his pep talk for Hell in a Cell, he announces the winner of Cena's Orton will take on Lesnar for the World Heavy Weight Title. He also promises the PPV will be a good show. "Being in the cell changes your life. Make The Authority proud." Heyman comes out a little later to interrupt a scuffle between Superstars. Cena threatens Heyman with an Attitude Adjustment, then chickens out. Orton delivers an RKO to both men leaving them out cold. 

Raw's main event was a 3 on 2 handicap street fight which ended in the steel cage. Chairs, tables, kendo sticks, even the cage became a weapon. Orton hits Ambrose with an RKO for the win just to endure a curb stomp from his friend, Seth Rollins. 

I couldn't believe my eyes as Foley waddles down the ramp. Seeing that beard in the ring gave me goosebumps. Foley returns to Raw to educate these naive rivals!!! Rollins and Ambrose are not ready for Hell in a Cell. Somebody is going to get seriously injured! You don't win in the cage, you survive the cage. 

"The scars you will not heal from, the scars that will haunt you for a lifetime are the emotional wounds that will not heal." 

HAVE A NICE DAY!

-Loveblump

Twitter: @LoveBlump